Better Captain jokes
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"CAPTAIN_PASSIVE_NAME": "Lil' Shooties",
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"CAPTAIN_PASSIVE_DESCRIPTION": "This kills the Big Ben",
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"CAPTAIN_PRIMARY_NAME": "A Nerf Maverick REV-6",
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"CAPTAIN_PRIMARY_DESCRIPTION": "When a man is confronted with the choice between a high-powered rifle and and a shotgun, the only plausible conclusion is to replace your non-dominant with both of them. Together.",
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"CAPTAIN_PRIMARY_DESCRIPTION": "If it's not Nerf now, it'll be Nerf later",
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"CAPTAIN_SECONDARY_NAME": "Paul Blart",
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"CAPTAIN_SECONDARY_DESCRIPTION": "Mall Cop",
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"CAPTAIN_UTILITY_NAME": "Mortar",
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