More lore

I can't believe I just wrote in a subplot about Tim Allen performing experiments on himself and ultimately succumbing to his fate and having his head severed, spawning a ritualistic Home Improvement religion
I mean I haven't wrote the second part in but I will, don't test me.

Items.txt

@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@
 	"ITEM_CLOVER_NAME": "Sundae",
 	"ITEM_CLOVER_PICKUP": "\"Easy like Sunday <style=cIsUtility>moooooooorning...</style>\"",
 	"ITEM_CLOVER_DESC": "All random effects are rolled <style=cIsUtility>+1</style> <style=cStack>(+1 per stack)</style>times for a <style=cIsUtility>favorable outcome</style>.", 
-	"ITEM_CLOVER_LORE": "\"Go. Run away like all the others. No one would want a friend as ugly as I am.\"\n\"Sure they would! It makes them feel better about the way they look! Maybe a story will cheer you up.\n\n\"It's called 'The Ugly Barnacle'...\"",
+	"ITEM_CLOVER_LORE": "\"Go. Run away like all the others. No one would want a friend as ugly as I am.\"\n\n\"Sure they would! It makes them feel better about the way they look! Maybe a story will cheer you up.\n\n\"It's called 'The Ugly Barnacle'...\"",
 
 	"ITEM_SYRINGE_NAME": "Sleezy German Medicine",
 	"ITEM_SYRINGE_PICKUP": "Let's watch Steve eat meth chocolate.",
@@ -18,7 +18,7 @@
 	"ITEM_BEAR_NAME": "You Can't Shoot Me",
 	"ITEM_BEAR_PICKUP": "Oh fuck he shot me.",
 	"ITEM_BEAR_DESC": "<style=cIsHealing>15%</style> <style=cStack>(+15% per stack)</style> chance to <style=cIsHealing>block</style> incoming damage. <style=cIsUtility>Unaffected by luck</style>.", 
-	"ITEM_BEAR_LORE": "Squeaky!\n\nSqueaky!\n\nSqueaky!\n\nSqueaky!\n\nSqueaky!\n\n...\n\nSqueaky!\n\n...\n\n...\n\n...\n\n...",
+	"ITEM_BEAR_LORE": "Squeaky!\n\nSqueaky!\n\nSqueaky!\n\nSqueaky!\n\nSqueaky!\n\n...\n\nSqueaky!\n\n...\n\n.",
 
 	"ITEM_BEHEMOTH_NAME": "Ravioli Ravioli",
 	"ITEM_BEHEMOTH_PICKUP": "Don't lewd the explosion loli.",
@@ -40,6 +40,7 @@
 	"ITEM_TOOTH_NAME": "Gramma's Dentures",
 	"ITEM_TOOTH_PICKUP": "Enemies drop a neverending bowl of cinnamon candies.",
 	"ITEM_TOOTH_DESC": "Killing an enemy spawns a <style=cIsHealing>healing orb</style> that heals for <style=cIsHealing>8</style> plus an additional <style=cIsHealing>2% <style=cStack>(+2% per stack)</style></style> of <style=cIsHealing>maximum health</style>.", 
+	"ITEM_TOOTH_LORE": "I have been publicly humiliated...\n\n...for the <color=#FF7F7F>last time</color>!",
 
 	"ITEM_CRITGLASSES_NAME": "Blood-Red Bifocals",
 	"ITEM_CRITGLASSES_PICKUP": "Four score and double damage ago.",
@@ -48,6 +49,7 @@
 	"ITEM_HOOF_NAME": "Leg",
 	"ITEM_HOOF_PICKUP": "Praise the leg and it will be good to you.",
 	"ITEM_HOOF_DESC": "Increases <style=cIsUtility>movement speed</style> by <style=cIsUtility>14%</style> <style=cStack>(+14% per stack)</style>.",
+	"ITEM_HOOF_LORE": "When you're running from wisps in a frenzy at 30 HP and need a hand?\nLeg.\n\nWhen the Meatball Extravaganza decides it's time to succ?\nLeg.\n\nWhen you're strolling across Titanic Plains, regretting your survivor choice?\nLeg.\n\nWhen you're having a bad day and just need to go really fast?\nLeg.\n\nWhen you're caught in a Void Reaver implosion and need to get out for dear life?\nLeg.\n\nPraise be.",
 
 	"ITEM_FEATHER_NAME": "Bird Hair",
 	"ITEM_FEATHER_PICKUP": "I'm sorry.",
@@ -72,6 +74,7 @@
 	"ITEM_MUSHROOM_NAME": "Bungus",
 	"ITEM_MUSHROOM_PICKUP": "Buddy, I'm an engineer. And that means I solve problems.",
 	"ITEM_MUSHROOM_DESC": "After standing still for <style=cIsHealing>2</style> seconds, create a zone that <style=cIsHealing>heals</style> for <style=cIsHealing>4.5%</style> <style=cStack>(+2.25% per stack)</style> of your <style=cIsHealing>health</style> every second to all allies within <style=cIsHealing>3m</style> <style=cStack>(+1.5m per stack)</style>.", 
+	"ITEM_MUSHROOM_LORE": "\"You there. That mushroom. It's mine, hand it over.\"\n\n\"What?\"\n\n\"You heard me. Hands off the spores, asshole; it's mine.\"\n\n\"Why? What's so special about this fungus-\"\n\n\"Bungus.\"\n\n\"<i>Bungus</i>?\"\n\nHe takes the fungus.\n\n\"Bungus.\"",
 
 	"ITEM_CROWBAR_NAME": "Hit Me Once",
 	"ITEM_CROWBAR_PICKUP": "Don't hit me more than once. It's not gonna work.",
@@ -178,6 +181,7 @@
 	"ITEM_ALIENHEAD_NAME": "Tim Allen's Severed Head",
 	"ITEM_ALIENHEAD_PICKUP": "[Home Improvement noises]",
 	"ITEM_ALIENHEAD_DESC": "<style=cIsUtility>Reduce skill cooldowns</style> by <style=cIsUtility>25%</style> <style=cStack>(+25% per stack)</style>.",
+	"ITEM_ALIENHEAD_LORE": "\"[Home Improvement noises]\"\n\n\"Tim, that's insane. You know you can't just-\"\n\n\"[Home Improvement noises]\"\n\n\"Yes, I know recent developments have necessitated that the project be pushed forward, but we can't send you-\"\n\n\"[Home Improvement noises]\"\n\n\"Yes. Yes, I understand. Yes, we'll send it to you immediately, Tim.\"\n\n\"[Home Improvement noises]\"\n\n\"Yes, we can move forward with that, too. When's a good time for you to come down to the lab?\"",
 
 	"ITEM_TALISMAN_NAME": "Geoffrey",
 	"ITEM_TALISMAN_PICKUP": "He a spooky boi, but nobody ever spells his name right.",
@@ -368,6 +372,7 @@
 	"ITEM_BLEEDONHITANDEXPLODE_NAME" : "Exploding Hearts",
 	"ITEM_BLEEDONHITANDEXPLODE_PICKUP" : "He's just a man name Mike.",
 	"ITEM_BLEEDONHITANDEXPLODE_DESC" : "<style=cIsDamage>Critical Strikes bleed</style> enemies for <style=cIsDamage>240%</style> base damage. <style=cIsDamage>Bleeding</style> enemies <style=cIsDamage>explode</style> on death for <style=cIsDamage>400%</style> <style=cStack>(+400% per stack)</style> damage, plus an additional <style=cIsDamage>15%</style> <style=cStack>(+15% per stack)</style> of their maximum health.", 
+	"ITEM_BLEEDONHITANDEXPLODE_LORE": "\"You people do not learn. Curiosity just killed you.\"\n\n- Satan",
 
 	"ITEM_SIPHONONLOWHEALTH_NAME" : "Bootleg Razorwire",
 	"ITEM_SIPHONONLOWHEALTH_PICKUP" : "Pairs really well with normal razorwire.",
@@ -384,29 +389,36 @@
 	"ITEM_ARTIFACTKEY_NAME" : "Golden Spatula",
 	"ITEM_ARTIFACTKEY_PICKUP" : "Gain access to the Patty Wagon.",
 	"ITEM_ARTIFACTKEY_DESC" : "A stone shard with immense power.",
+	"ITEM_ARTIFACTKEY_LORE": "\"Hey, I thought you didn't have a driver's license?\"\n\n\"You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.\"",
 
 	"ITEM_CAPTAINDEFENSEMATRIX_NAME" : "Denied",
 	"ITEM_CAPTAINDEFENSEMATRIX_PICKUP" : "And he sayeth to the Lemurian: \"Ehehehehe\"",
 	"ITEM_CAPTAINDEFENSEMATRIX_DESC" : "Shoot down <style=cIsDamage>1</style> <style=cStack>(+1 per stack)</style> projectiles within <style=cIsDamage>20m</style> every <style=cIsDamage>0.5 seconds</style>. <style=cIsUtility>Recharge rate scales with attack speed</style>.",
+	"ITEM_CAPTAINDEFENSEMATRIX_LORE": "There are exactly two situations in which you can read this text:\n\n1. You defeated a Captain's doppelganger and got the red to drop. Bravo.\n\n2. You cheated. You dirty dirty cheater. You dirty cheating cheating dirt-eating cheater. You fucking cheater.",
 
 	"ITEM_SCRAPWHITE_NAME" : "White Crap",
 	"ITEM_SCRAPWHITE_PICKUP" : "Formerly Fireworks.",
 	"ITEM_SCRAPWHITE_DESC" : "Does nothing. Prioritized when used with 3D Printers.",
+	"ITEM_SCRAPWHITE_LORE": "A disappointing box of stuffing and cheap wire.",
 
 	"ITEM_SCRAPGREEN_NAME" : "Green Crap",
 	"ITEM_SCRAPGREEN_PICKUP" : "Formerly a Chronobauble.",
 	"ITEM_SCRAPGREEN_DESC" : "Does nothing. Prioritized when used with 3D Printers.",
+	"ITEM_SCRAPGREEN_LORE": "A small box of choice, hard-to-come-by parts, like motors and rare earth metals.",
 
 	"ITEM_SCRAPRED_NAME" : "Red Crap",
 	"ITEM_SCRAPRED_PICKUP" : "Nobody likes you, Timmy.",
 	"ITEM_SCRAPRED_DESC" : "Does nothing. Prioritized when used with 3D Printers.",
+	"ITEM_SCRAPRED_LORE": "An intricately-organized box of exceedingly rare materials, such as radioactive samples and delicate local flora. Highly fragile, to the point where it could serve as a bomb in a pinch.\n\nNot like you'd do that.",
 
 	"ITEM_SCRAPYELLOW_NAME" : "Yellow Crap",
 	"ITEM_SCRAPYELLOW_PICKUP" : "Just chucked a fucking Beetle in there, whatever.",
 	"ITEM_SCRAPYELLOW_DESC" : "Does nothing. Prioritized when used with 3D Printers.",
+	"ITEM_SCRAPYELLOW_LORE": "A box filled to the absolute brim with beetle legs.",
 
 	"ITEM_LUNARBADLUCK_NAME" : "Pinhead",
-	"ITEM_LUNARBADLUCK_PICKUP" : "\"Which one of you is the REAL Dirty Dan?\"",
+	"ITEM_LUNARBADLUCK_PICKUP" : "\"Which one of you fellers is the REAL Dirty Dan?\"",
 	"ITEM_LUNARBADLUCK_DESC": "All skill cooldowns are reduced by <style=cIsUtility>2</style> <style=cStack>(+1 per stack)</style> seconds. All random effects are rolled <style=cIsUtility>+1</style> <style=cStack>(+1 per stack)</style> times for an <style=cIsHealth>unfavorable outcome</style>.", 
+	"ITEM_LUNARBADLUCK_LORE": "\"Alright, Pinhead! Your time is up!\"\n\n\"Who you callin' pinhead? I wanna be Dirty Dan!\"\n\n\"What makes you think you can be Dirty Dan?\"\n\n\"I'm dirty.\"",
 	}
 }