diff --git a/Items.txt b/Items.txt index 8f6795b..99c41c4 100755 --- a/Items.txt +++ b/Items.txt @@ -1,471 +1,408 @@ { strings: { - "ITEM_PICKUP_CONTEXT" : "Get {0}", - "EQUIPMENT_PICKUP_CONTEXT" : "Get {0}", - "EQUIPMENT_SWAP_CONTEXT" : "Swap for {0}", + "ITEM_PICKUP_CONTEXT" : "Yoink {0}", + "EQUIPMENT_PICKUP_CONTEXT" : "Yeet {0}", + "EQUIPMENT_SWAP_CONTEXT" : "Yeet something for {0}", - "ITEM_CLOVER_NAME": "57 Leaf Clover", - "ITEM_CLOVER_PICKUP": "Luck is on your side.", + "ITEM_CLOVER_NAME": "Sundae", + "ITEM_CLOVER_PICKUP": "\"Easy like Sunday moooooooorning...\"", "ITEM_CLOVER_DESC": "All random effects are rolled +1 (+1 per stack)times for a favorable outcome.", - "ITEM_SYRINGE_NAME": "Soldier's Syringe", - "ITEM_SYRINGE_PICKUP": "Increases attack speed.", + "ITEM_SYRINGE_NAME": "Sleezy German Medicine", + "ITEM_SYRINGE_PICKUP": "Let's watch Steve eat meth chocolate.", "ITEM_SYRINGE_DESC": "Increases attack speed by 15% (+15% per stack).", - "ITEM_SYRINGE_LORE" : "\"I ain't much for drugs... but hell, when fortune is knockin', ya gotta greet that door with a smile and a nod. Salud!\"\r\n\r\n-Signal echoes, UES Contact Light\r\n", - "ITEM_BEAR_NAME": "Tougher Times", - "ITEM_BEAR_PICKUP": "Chance to block incoming damage.", + "ITEM_BEAR_NAME": "You Can't Shoot Me", + "ITEM_BEAR_PICKUP": "Oh fuck he shot me.", "ITEM_BEAR_DESC": "15% (+15% per stack) chance to block incoming damage. Unaffected by luck.", - "ITEM_BEAR_LORE" : "\n//--AUTO-TRANSCRIPTION FROM ROOM 4211B OF UES [Redacted] --//\n\n\"Why\'d you sign up?\"\n\nWyatt\'s voice was bored. The mission to the Contact Light\'s last known location was taking longer than he expected.\n\nMalik was on the floor, cleaning her rifle. \"To get paid, mostly.\"\n\n\"And that\'s it?\"\n\nShe grunted in affirmation. She continued to wipe down the weapon.\n\n\"I\'m here to find something.\" He continued. \"I shipped it a few years back, but I don\'t think it made it before the train went down. I\'m guessing it\'s still in the Contact Light. So I\'m gonna get it back.\"\n\nShe began to tighten the last remaining bolts. Her routine near completion, she moved her gaze to Wyatt. \"Seriously?\"\n\n\"Yep!\"\n\nMalik raised her brow. \"There were over 7 million security chests in the Contact Light. The chance of you finding a specific one is impossible.\" She began to unfold her legs as she propped her rifle in the corner. \"And according to the distress beacon, the Contact Light was destroyed in orbit. Your shipment is probably floating around in space. It\'s all gone, Wyatt.\"\n\nHe grinned. \"I think I\'m gonna find it.\"\n\n\"You\'re terrible.\"\n", - "ITEM_BEHEMOTH_NAME": "Brilliant Behemoth", - "ITEM_BEHEMOTH_PICKUP": "All your attacks explode!", + "ITEM_BEHEMOTH_NAME": "Ravioli Ravioli", + "ITEM_BEHEMOTH_PICKUP": "Don't lewd the explosion loli.", "ITEM_BEHEMOTH_DESC": "All your attacks explode in a 4m (+1.5m per stack) radius for a bonus 60% TOTAL damage to nearby enemies.", - "ITEM_MISSILE_NAME": "AtG Missile Mk. 1", - "ITEM_MISSILE_PICKUP": "Chance to fire a missile.", + "ITEM_MISSILE_NAME": "Meatball", + "ITEM_MISSILE_PICKUP": "\"Meatball, meatball, spaghetti underneath!\"\r\n\"Ravioli ravioli great barrier reef!\"", "ITEM_MISSILE_DESC": "10% chance to fire a missile that deals 300% (+300% per stack) TOTAL damage.", - "ITEM_EXPLODEONDEATH_NAME": "Will-o'-the-wisp", - "ITEM_EXPLODEONDEATH_PICKUP": "Detonate enemies on kill.", + "ITEM_EXPLODEONDEATH_NAME": "Jellyfish Jelly", + "ITEM_EXPLODEONDEATH_PICKUP": "\"I just had a sandwich, no ordinary sandwich!\"", "ITEM_EXPLODEONDEATH_DESC": "On killing an enemy, spawn a lava pillar in a 12m (+2.4m per stack) radius for 350% (+280% per stack) base damage.", - "ITEM_EXPLODEONDEATH_LORE": "Audio transcription complete from portable recorder.\r\n\r\nPrinting...<\/style>\r\n\r\n\"You don\u2019t want to re-name it Bill-o-the-Wisp?\"\r\n\"NO.\"\r\n\"JAR-ed?\"\r\n\"NO.\"\r\n\"Then what about FLARE-ed?\"\r\n\"STOP.\"\r\n\"It needs a name, it\u2019s no dif-FIRE-ent than you or me.\"\r\n\"Next time we\u2019re at base I\u2019m applying for a transfer.\"\r\n\"You know that won\u2019t go through until at least Dec-EMBER.\"\r\n\"How long have you been waiting to use these?\"\r\n\"Coming up with them on the spot. I\u2019ve got a good head on my SMOULDERS.\"\r\n\"You can stop emphasizing those words so much. I get it.\"\r\n\"I will never stop FUELING around.\"\r\n\"...\"\r\n\"...\"\r\n\"...\"\r\n\"Want to grab something to eat when we get back?\"\r\n\"Thank the stars that\u2019s over, yes. I hope they\u2019re not serving that gruel we had yesterday.\"\r\n\"Maybe they\u2019ll cook you a pep-PYRO-ni pizza?\"\r\n\"...\"\r\n\"Hey, wait up! I can\u2019t run holding this thing, it might go off!\"\r\n", - "ITEM_DAGGER_NAME": "Ceremonial Dagger", - "ITEM_DAGGER_PICKUP": "Killing an enemy releases homing daggers.", + "ITEM_DAGGER_NAME": "Knoife", + "ITEM_DAGGER_PICKUP": "Oy, ya got a loicense for that knoife?", "ITEM_DAGGER_DESC": "Killing an enemy fires out 3 homing daggers that deal 150% (+150% per stack) base damage.", - "ITEM_DAGGER_LORE": "The smell of sulfur fills the air.\r\n\r\n\"Oh god, they're so close. They have Hitchcock. Oh god.\"\r\n\r\n\"Grab the - the dagger. From my backpack. Quick.\"\r\n\r\n\"I-I don't... I got it. What the hell? This isn't gonna work, Marion. What the hell am I supposed to do with this against those...? They blew him into pieces - oh god.\"\r\n\r\n\"You have to... you have to kill me - ah! Kill me. Kill me with it.\"\r\n\r\n\"What? What the hell?\"\r\n\r\n\"Yeah - it's the only way. Please.\"\r\n\r\n\"What are you saying? Stop!\"\r\n\r\n\"It's a magic dagger. It'll save us. She will save us. But you have to kill me with it.\"\r\n\r\n\"Please don't... please don't make me. Oh god.\"\r\n\r\n\"Y-you have to. I've seen how this works. It's the only way - they're coming so close. You have to use it on me. Kill me.\"\r\n\r\n\"I'm so sorry Marion. I'm so so sorry. I don't think-\"\r\n\r\n\"Do it. Do it now. DO IT NOW! DO IT NOW! DO IT-\"", - "ITEM_TOOTH_NAME": "Monster Tooth", - "ITEM_TOOTH_PICKUP": "Drop a healing orb on kill.", + "ITEM_TOOTH_NAME": "Gramma's Dentures", + "ITEM_TOOTH_PICKUP": "Enemies drop a neverending bowl of cinnamon candies.", "ITEM_TOOTH_DESC": "Killing an enemy spawns a healing orb that heals for 8 plus an additional 2% (+2% per stack) of maximum health.", - "ITEM_CRITGLASSES_NAME": "Lens-Maker's Glasses", - "ITEM_CRITGLASSES_PICKUP": "Chance to 'Critically Strike', dealing double damage.", + "ITEM_CRITGLASSES_NAME": "Blood-Red Bifocals", + "ITEM_CRITGLASSES_PICKUP": "Four score and double damage ago.", "ITEM_CRITGLASSES_DESC": "Your attacks have a 10% (+10% per stack) chance to 'Critically Strike', dealing double damage.", - "ITEM_HOOF_NAME": "Paul's Goat Hoof", - "ITEM_HOOF_PICKUP": "Move faster.", + "ITEM_HOOF_NAME": "LEG", + "ITEM_HOOF_PICKUP": "Praise the leg and it will be good to you.", "ITEM_HOOF_DESC": "Increases movement speed by 14% (+14% per stack).", - "ITEM_FEATHER_NAME": "Hopoo Feather", - "ITEM_FEATHER_PICKUP": "Gain an extra jump.", + "ITEM_FEATHER_NAME": "Bird Hair", + "ITEM_FEATHER_PICKUP": "I'm sorry.", "ITEM_FEATHER_DESC": "Gain +1 (+1 per stack) maximum jump count.", - "ITEM_CHAINLIGHTNING_NAME": "Ukulele", - "ITEM_CHAINLIGHTNING_PICKUP": "...and his music was electric.", + "ITEM_CHAINLIGHTNING_NAME": "Johnny Guitar", + "ITEM_CHAINLIGHTNING_PICKUP": "...like the one they called Johnny Guitar.", "ITEM_CHAINLIGHTNING_DESC": "25% chance to fire chain lightning for 80% TOTAL damage on up to 3 (+2 per stack) targets within 20m (+2m per stack).", - "ITEM_SEED_NAME": "Leeching Seed", - "ITEM_SEED_PICKUP": "Dealing damage heals you.", + "ITEM_SEED_NAME": "Magic Pecan", + "ITEM_SEED_PICKUP": "\"Brazillian Nuts are sometimes called-\"", "ITEM_SEED_DESC": "Dealing damage heals you for 1 (+1 per stack) health.", - "ITEM_ICICLE_NAME": "Frost Relic", - "ITEM_ICICLE_PICKUP": "Killing enemies surrounds you with an ice storm.", + "ITEM_ICICLE_NAME": "Elsa", + "ITEM_ICICLE_PICKUP": "Do you want to build a snowman? It doesn't have to be a good item.", "ITEM_ICICLE_DESC": "Killing an enemy surrounds you with an ice storm that deals 600% damage per second. The storm grows with every kill, increasing its radius by 1m. Stacks up to 6m (+6m per stack).", - "ITEM_GHOSTONKILL_NAME": "Happiest Mask", - "ITEM_GHOSTONKILL_PICKUP": "Chance on killing an enemy to summon a ghost.", + "ITEM_GHOSTONKILL_NAME": "Happy Mask Salesman", + "ITEM_GHOSTONKILL_PICKUP": "You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you? (+3 days per stack)", "ITEM_GHOSTONKILL_DESC": "Killing enemies has a 7% chance to spawn a ghost of the killed enemy with 1500% damage. Lasts 30s (+30s per stack).", - "ITEM_MUSHROOM_NAME": "Bustling Fungus", - "ITEM_MUSHROOM_PICKUP": "Heal all nearby allies after standing still for 2 seconds.", + "ITEM_MUSHROOM_NAME": "Bungus", + "ITEM_MUSHROOM_PICKUP": "Buddy, I'm an engineer. And that means I solve problems.", "ITEM_MUSHROOM_DESC": "After standing still for 2 seconds, create a zone that heals for 4.5% (+2.25% per stack) of your health every second to all allies within 3m (+1.5m per stack).", - "ITEM_CROWBAR_NAME": "Crowbar", - "ITEM_CROWBAR_PICKUP": "Deal more damage to healthy enemies.", + "ITEM_CROWBAR_NAME": "Hit Me Once", + "ITEM_CROWBAR_PICKUP": "Don't hit me more than once. It's not gonna work.", "ITEM_CROWBAR_DESC": "Deal 150% (+50% per stack) damage to enemies above 90% health.", - "ITEM_ATTACKSPEEDONCRIT_NAME": "Predatory Instincts", - "ITEM_ATTACKSPEEDONCRIT_PICKUP": "'Critical Strikes' increase attack speed. Stacks 3 times.", + "ITEM_ATTACKSPEEDONCRIT_NAME": "Haha Crits Go Brrrr", + "ITEM_ATTACKSPEEDONCRIT_PICKUP": "\"No! You can't just stack the same green item until endgame!\"", "ITEM_ATTACKSPEEDONCRIT_DESC": "Critical strikes increase attack speed by 12%. Maximum cap of 36% (+24% per stack) attack speed.", "ITEM_ATTACKSPEEDONCRIT_LORE": "Gossip spreads quickly in terrified communities. Stories that keep the more fearful lizardfolk in their passageways. Hushed tales that frighten the most commanding of stone constructs and woodfolk and creatures of the plains. Fear travels between the trees and the valleys.\n\nA demon, fallen from the Sky, mighty enough to slay Providence and his Wurms. Only two arms, two legs - but with 22 unblinking, crimson eyes.\n", - "ITEM_BLEEDONHIT_NAME": "Tri-Tip Dagger", - "ITEM_BLEEDONHIT_PICKUP": "Chance to bleed enemies on hit.", + "ITEM_BLEEDONHIT_NAME": "Stabe", + "ITEM_BLEEDONHIT_PICKUP": "Anyone not acurrently stabbing me or escaping, get back to work.", "ITEM_BLEEDONHIT_DESC": "15% (+15% per stack) chance to bleed an enemy for 240% base damage.", - "ITEM_SPRINTOUTOFCOMBAT_NAME": "Red Whip", - "ITEM_SPRINTOUTOFCOMBAT_PICKUP": "Move fast out of combat.", + "ITEM_SPRINTOUTOFCOMBAT_NAME": "India Jones", + "ITEM_SPRINTOUTOFCOMBAT_PICKUP": "And the temple of get the fuck out.", "ITEM_SPRINTOUTOFCOMBAT_DESC": "Leaving combat boosts your movement speed by 30% (+30% per stack).", - "ITEM_FALLBOOTS_NAME": "H3AD-5T v2", - "ITEM_FALLBOOTS_PICKUP": "Increase jump height. Hold 'Interact' to slam down to the ground.", + "ITEM_FALLBOOTS_NAME": "I'M THE MARIO", + "ITEM_FALLBOOTS_PICKUP": "[dancing fat Italian noises]", "ITEM_FALLBOOTS_DESC": "Increase jump height. Creates a 5m-100m radius kinetic explosion on hitting the ground, dealing 1000%-10000% base damage that scales up with speed. Recharges in 10 (-50% per stack) seconds.", "ITEM_FALLBOOTS_LORE": "\"Denizens of lower-gravity planets like Mercury historically have had trouble adjusting to life on other planets. Mercurians, with their lower bone density (left) would typically shatter their femur within a week on heavier planets. Members of asteroid-rigged flotillas and colony ships have similar issues when arriving home from space.\r\n\r\nThe invention of Kinetic Dispersion Rings (above) help alleviate the stress of heavier-than-normal gravity by converting kinetic energy into heat, sound, and light. Settlers from Mercury could finally leave their home planet in safety.\"\r\n\r\n-Mercurian History Museum\r\n", - "ITEM_COOLDOWNONCRIT_NAME": "Wicked Ring", - "ITEM_COOLDOWNONCRIT_PICKUP": "'Critical Strikes' reduce cooldowns by 1 second.", - "ITEM_COOLDOWNONCRIT_DESC": "Gain 5% critical chance. Critical strikes reduces all your cooldowns by 1.", - - "ITEM_WARDONLEVEL_NAME": "Warbanner", - "ITEM_WARDONLEVEL_PICKUP": "Drop a Warbanner on level up or starting the Teleporter event. Grants allies attack and movement speed.", + "ITEM_WARDONLEVEL_NAME": "Motiviational Cat Poster", + "ITEM_WARDONLEVEL_PICKUP": "\"Hang in there!\"", "ITEM_WARDONLEVEL_DESC": "On level up or starting the Teleporter event, drop a banner that strengthens all allies within 16m (+8m per stack). Raise attack and movement speed by 30%.", - "ITEM_WARCRYONMULTIKILL_NAME": "Berzerker's Pauldron", - "ITEM_WARCRYONMULTIKILL_PICKUP": "Enter a frenzy after killing 3 enemies in quick succession.", + "ITEM_WARCRYONMULTIKILL_NAME": "Angery Shoulder", + "ITEM_WARCRYONMULTIKILL_PICKUP": "\"Triple kill!\"", "ITEM_WARCRYONMULTIKILL_DESC": "Killing 3 enemies within 1 second sends you into a frenzy for 6s (+4s per stack). Increases movement speed by 50% and attack speed by 100%.", - "ITEM_PHASING_NAME": "Old War Stealthkit", - "ITEM_PHASING_PICKUP": "Turn invisible on taking heavy damage.", + "ITEM_PHASING_NAME": "You Can't See Me", + "ITEM_PHASING_PICKUP": "Oh fuck he saw me.", "ITEM_PHASING_DESC": "Chance on taking damage to gain 40% movement speed and invisibility for 3s (+1.5s per stack). Chance increases the more damage you take.", - "ITEM_PHASING_LORE": "Order: Misc. OW Artifacts (47)\r\nTracking Number: 01******\r\nEstimated Delivery: 08\/13\/2056\r\nShipping Method: Priority\r\nShipping Address: National Old War Museum, New Orleans, Earth\r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nWe've managed to round up all the local Old War artifacts that we could find. A lot of interesting things here: rifles, rations, pamphlets. We even found a prototype stealthkit in fantastic condition; that could be a great centerpiece for your exhibit.\r\n\r\nHowever, a slight issue: in transit, the truck hit a pothole and jostled all the ship. It seemed to have actually activated the stealth drive - some strange short-circuit - and our team can't actually confirm the location of the stealthkit. It should be in one of the boxes - we will be expecting the commission to include the stealthkit.\r\n", - "ITEM_HEALONCRIT_NAME": "Harvester's Scythe", - "ITEM_HEALONCRIT_PICKUP": "'Critical Strikes' heal you.", + "ITEM_HEALONCRIT_NAME": "Time to Farm", + "ITEM_HEALONCRIT_PICKUP": "Craft a hoe. Taken!", "ITEM_HEALONCRIT_DESC": "Gain 5% critical chance. Critical strikes heal for 8 (+4 per stack) health.", - "ITEM_HEALWHILESAFE_NAME": "Cautious Slug", - "ITEM_HEALWHILESAFE_PICKUP": "Rapidly heal outside of danger.", + "ITEM_HEALWHILESAFE_NAME": "Gary", + "ITEM_HEALWHILESAFE_PICKUP": "\"Gary come home...\"", "ITEM_HEALWHILESAFE_DESC": "Increases base health regeneration by +4 hp/s (+4 hp/s per stack)while outside of combat.", - "ITEM_JUMPBOOST_NAME": "Wax Quail", - "ITEM_JUMPBOOST_PICKUP": "Jumping while sprinting boosts you forward.", + "ITEM_JUMPBOOST_NAME": "Tweet", + "ITEM_JUMPBOOST_PICKUP": "tweet tweet tweet", "ITEM_JUMPBOOST_DESC": "Jumping while sprinting boosts you forward by 10m(+10m per stack).", - "ITEM_JUMPBOOST_LORE" : "Order: Wax Quail\r\nTracking Number: 15******\r\nEstimated Delivery: 12\/18\/2056\r\nShipping Method: Priority\r\nShipping Address: Research Center, Polarity Zone, Neptune\r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nHello Buu,\r\nHow are you doing? This is Mama. \r\n\r\nThe weather here has been dreadful. It is raining every day. We have recently found a new bakery nearby that has delicious sandwiches. Papa has recently taken up whittling. He uses wax because it is softer. I have attached one of his favorites. Hopefully it has not been dinged in the mail :-)\r\n\r\nAnyways, I will leave Buu alone. Hope to see you soon!\r\nMama", - "ITEM_PERSONALSHIELD_NAME": "Personal Shield Generator", - "ITEM_PERSONALSHIELD_PICKUP": "Gain a recharging shield.", + "ITEM_PERSONALSHIELD_NAME": "Blue Health", + "ITEM_PERSONALSHIELD_PICKUP": "I have no clue how this interacts with new one-shot protection.", "ITEM_PERSONALSHIELD_DESC": "Gain a shield equal to 8% (+8% per stack) of your maximum health. Recharges outside of danger.", - "ITEM_PERSONALSHIELD_LORE" : "\"While the kinetic rating is very poor, the extremely cheap production costs of Hinon\u2019s Personal Barrier made it a great budget tool for hikers, sailors, and even daily commuters to be comfortable in harsh weather. Many people in the office figured out they could replace their expensive winter jackets with comfortable, trendy personal barriers!\"\r\n\r\n-Top 10 Best Personal Barriers of 2053\r\n", - "ITEM_NOVAONHEAL_NAME": "N'kuhana's Opinion", - "ITEM_NOVAONHEAL_PICKUP": "Fire haunting skulls when healed.", + "ITEM_NOVAONHEAL_NAME": "Curse of Bungus", + "ITEM_NOVAONHEAL_PICKUP": "Give the horns I am the engineer. Engineer will become super goat time.", "ITEM_NOVAONHEAL_DESC": "Store 100% (+100% per stack) of healing as Soul Energy. After your Soul Energy reaches 10% of your maximum health, fire a skull that deals 250% of your Soul Energy as damage.", - "ITEM_NOVAONHEAL_LORE" : "\"Let us begin.\r\n\r\nWhat is your oath?\r\n\r\nNot very long ago, health and time were in perfect synergy. Pain and love. Death and memories. The great equalizer. She would always come for us. \r\n\r\nBut! Disparity now plagues our generations - and our children's. Not many pass, but so many are born. So many doomed souls, saved. Our hubris as a race continues to grow - unchecked. Unrestrained. \r\n\r\nNow there is no volume in our world for death, and she cannot visit us. But is being alive only an offset from death? Without contrast, won't we all be dead in life? The standard has shifted, and now we are all so very close to never living again.\r\n\r\nWe must make volume for her name - to restore the balance. Let us consume the Concepts, so we may begin to drain the bloated cistern that is our world. As disciples, we will spread her words and opinions. As pupils, we will sow death. And should we be lucky... be granted an audience by Her.\r\n\r\nWeshan!\"\r\n\r\n-The N'tormat, Chapter I, Stanza I, Verse II\r\n", - - "ITEM_MEDKIT_NAME": "Medkit", - "ITEM_MEDKIT_PICKUP": "Receive a delayed heal after taking damage.", + + "ITEM_MEDKIT_NAME": "Patch Me Up", + "ITEM_MEDKIT_PICKUP": "I'm hurt, doc.", "ITEM_MEDKIT_DESC": "2 seconds after getting hurt, heal for 20 plus an additional 5% (+5% per stack) of maximum health.", - "ITEM_MEDKIT_LORE": "\n\"I suggest you stay indoors and rest.\"<\/style>\r\n\r\nMED-E, the medical bot, has been working overtime. The survivors felt very grateful that their escape pod landed near Med Bay cargo - they would have most likely perished without it.\r\n\r\n\"I suggest you stay indoors and rest.\"<\/style>\r\n\r\nThe robot was speaking to a tall man, gaunt but strong. \"I'd love to, but we're running low on food.\" Even though his expression was hidden underneath his blue combat helmet, it was obvious the man was extremely tired. \"And everyone else is recovering from last night's attacks. Without the enforcers, we probably wouldn't have-\"\r\n\r\n\"I suggest you stay indoors and rest.\" <\/style>\r\n\r\nIt was apparent that MED-E only had a limited set of lines. However, the man continued to respond. \"I can't, MED-E. They're counting on me. You know that.\"\r\n\r\n\"I suggest you stay indoors and rest.\" <\/style>\r\n\r\nThis time the man did not humor a reply. Grabbing his shotgun, he turned away from the echoing robot. Weaving his way between countless sleeping bags and stretchers, he set out into the wilderness again. Everyone was counting on him.\r\n\r\n\"Please stay indoors and rest.\" <\/style>\r\n", - "ITEM_EQUIPMENTMAGAZINE_NAME": "Fuel Cell", - "ITEM_EQUIPMENTMAGAZINE_PICKUP": "Hold an additional equipment charge. Reduce equipment cooldown.", + "ITEM_EQUIPMENTMAGAZINE_NAME": "Dead Battery", + "ITEM_EQUIPMENTMAGAZINE_PICKUP": "Oh fuck oh god it's inflating shit how do I extinguish a lithium fire.", "ITEM_EQUIPMENTMAGAZINE_DESC": "Hold an additional equipment charge (+1 per stack). Reduce equipment cooldown by 15% (+15% per stack).", - "ITEM_EQUIPMENTMAGAZINE_LORE" : "\"As humanity began to venture out into the depths of space, high-energy but low-volume fuel sources became critical for interplanetary travel. Stability came later.\"\n-Brief History of Interplanetary Advances, Vol.2\n", - "ITEM_INFUSION_NAME": "Infusion", - "ITEM_INFUSION_PICKUP": "Killing an enemy permanently increases your health, up to 100.", + "ITEM_INFUSION_NAME": "Dracula", + "ITEM_INFUSION_PICKUP": "Is that THE-", "ITEM_INFUSION_DESC": "Killing an enemy increases your health permanently by 1 (+1 per stack), up to a maximum of 100 (+100 per stack) health.", - "ITEM_SHOCKNEARBY_NAME": "Unstable Tesla Coil", - "ITEM_SHOCKNEARBY_PICKUP": "Shock all nearby enemies every 10 seconds.", + "ITEM_SHOCKNEARBY_NAME": "Nikola Tesla's Personal Problems", + "ITEM_SHOCKNEARBY_PICKUP": "This isn't a frequent issue, I swear", "ITEM_SHOCKNEARBY_DESC": "Fire out lightning that hits 3 (+2 per stack) enemies for 200% base damage every 0.5s. The Tesla Coil switches off every 10 seconds.", - "ITEM_SHOCKNEARBY_LORE": "Tesla Presentation Software v1.14\r\nPowering on...\r\n10...\r\nIssuing welcome statement...\r\n9...\r\nWelcome one and all!\r\n8...\r\nPlease take a seat.\r\n7...\r\nMake sure those behind you can see.\r\n6...\r\nThe presentation will start shortly.\r\n5...\r\nPlease obey the staff for your safety.\r\n4...\r\nInitiating room mood lighting...\r\n3...\r\nGet ready to behold...\r\n2...\r\nThe marvelous wonders...\r\n1...\r\nOf electricity!\r\nPower anomaly detected...\r\nInitiating reboot procedure in 10...\r\n", - "ITEM_IGNITEONKILL_NAME": "Gasoline", - "ITEM_IGNITEONKILL_PICKUP": "Killing enemies sets nearby enemies on fire.", + "ITEM_IGNITEONKILL_NAME": "Running in the 90s", + "ITEM_IGNITEONKILL_PICKUP": "GAS GAS GAS", "ITEM_IGNITEONKILL_DESC": "Killing an enemy ignites all enemies within 12m (+4m per stack). Enemies burn for 150% (+75% per stack) base damage.", - "ITEM_IGNITEONKILL_LORE" : "\r\nAudio transcription complete from signal echoes. Assigning generic tokens.\r\n\r\n[Fire crackling]\r\n\r\nMAN 1: D-do you think they're gonna come for us?\r\n\r\nMAN 2: They'll try. It's going to be a very long while.\r\n\r\nMAN 1: What? Why?\r\n\r\nMAN 2: A long while. Even if they know where to look we'd be months out from the nearest port. And that's if they even have any ships as fast as ours \u2013 FTL ships are very rare nowadays.\r\n\r\nMAN 1: Months...?! And what do you mean if they know where? What about the other ships on our shipping routes?\r\n\r\nMAN 2: We weren't on the route.\r\n\r\n[Fire pops]\r\n\r\nMAN 1: What?!\r\n\r\nMAN 2: We should've been halfway to Procyon by the time we crashed... but we weren\u2019t. The ship never announced it was slowing down either, so that\u2019ll make triangulating our positions even harder.\r\n\r\nMAN 1: I-I don't get it. Who would take a UES train off course? That's completely insane!\r\n\r\nMAN 2: I don\u2019t know \u2013 only the Captain does. There\u2019s no reason to slow down in this star system - there's not even supposed to be a habitable planet out here.\r\n\r\n[Sizzling]\r\n\r\nMAN 2: This looks cooked to me. Can't vouch for how it'll taste - but we have to eat.\r\n\r\nMAN 1: I... I can't even think right now. I\u2019m not hungry.\r\n\r\nMAN 2: Eat. We've got a lot of traveling to do tomorrow and we'll need to keep our strength.\r\n\r\nMAN 1: Sure. Okay. Okay. Um\u2026 do you think it's poisonous?\r\n\r\nMAN 2: Eat.\r\n\r\nEnd of requested transcript. \r\n", - "ITEM_BOUNCENEARBY_NAME": "Sentient Meat Hook", - "ITEM_BOUNCENEARBY_PICKUP": "Chance to hook all nearby enemies.", + "ITEM_BOUNCENEARBY_NAME": "Meat Yeet", + "ITEM_BOUNCENEARBY_PICKUP": "Hit a guy and he gets so frustrated that he forms a support group.", "ITEM_BOUNCENEARBY_DESC": "20% (+20% per stack) chance on hit to fire homing hooks at up to 10 (+5 per stack) enemies for 100% TOTAL damage.", - "ITEM_BOUNCENEARBY_LORE": "\"When artificial intelligence became more commonplace, many companies jumped on the trend for \"smart\" products. This included smart doors, lights, coffee makers, lawnmowers, vacuum cleaners, bedding, kitchen knife sets, and other home goods. After a series of gruesome lawsuits stemming from hacked smart appliances, most products soon went back to their more traditional, analog lines.\"\r\n\r\n-\"Why Is Smart So Dumb? VII\"\r\n", - "ITEM_FIREWORK_NAME": "Bundle of Fireworks", - "ITEM_FIREWORK_PICKUP": "Activating an interactable launches fireworks at nearby enemies.", + "ITEM_FIREWORK_NAME": "Happy Birthday", + "ITEM_FIREWORK_PICKUP": "Mama says it doesn't matter when I graduate high school, but Papa says I'm a 26-year-old sack of shit. Happy Birthday to me.", "ITEM_FIREWORK_DESC": "Activating an interactable launches 8 (+4 per stack) fireworks that deal 300% base damage.", - "ITEM_FIREWORK_LORE" : "\"Hey, happy anniversary!\r\n\r\nYou really thought I forgot?\r\n\r\nAh, I thought I was the dumb one in our relationship. C'mon T, of course not! Well, I wasn't going to let a little alien death planet ruin our night. Right? Shh, just watch. Just watch. It's okay. Just watch. You'll love it - you really will. Then we can go home.\r\n\r\nYou can keep your eyes closed. Just listen. Ah - here it comes! In five... four... three... two... ONE...!\"\r\n", - "ITEM_BANDOLIER_NAME": "Bandolier", - "ITEM_BANDOLIER_PICKUP": "Chance on kill to drop an ammo pack that resets all skill cooldowns.", + "ITEM_BANDOLIER_NAME": "Shots", + "ITEM_BANDOLIER_PICKUP": "Did I fire six shots or just five? Trick question, this is a knife.", "ITEM_BANDOLIER_DESC": "18% (+10% on stack) chance on kill to drop an ammo pack that resets all skill cooldowns.", - "ITEM_BANDOLIER_LORE": "Order: Bandolier\r\nTracking Number: 112*****\r\nEstimated Delivery: 04/19/2056\r\nShipping Method: Standard\r\nShipping Address: 3950 Sunsell Ln, Tri-City, Earth\r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nThank you for your participation in the auction! We\u2019ve included a short history on the item, as well as documents to verify its authenticity.\r\n\r\nThis is the famous bandolier worn by B. Grundy himself. He and his pals used to raise terror all over the map of the new territories. Their favorite activity was to tie up people they didn\u2019t like and drag them behind their horses \u2013 Grundy clearly had a sweet spot for the old days.\r\n\r\nThe sling carries an impressive assortment of ammunition - Grundy himself carried many different guns. It was rumored that they held out for 3 whole days and nights before their weapons ran dry.\r\n\r\n", - "ITEM_STUNCHANCEONHIT_NAME": "Stun Grenade", - "ITEM_STUNCHANCEONHIT_PICKUP": "Chance to stun on hit.", + "ITEM_STUNCHANCEONHIT_NAME": "Flashbang", + "ITEM_STUNCHANCEONHIT_PICKUP": "Use it to stun groups of enemies. Do not apply to the dog.", "ITEM_STUNCHANCEONHIT_DESC": "5% (+5% on stack) chance on hit to stun enemies for 2 seconds.", - "ITEM_LUNARDAGGER_NAME": "Shaped Glass", - "ITEM_LUNARDAGGER_PICKUP": "Double your damage... BUT halve your health.\n", + "ITEM_LUNARDAGGER_NAME": "Pain", + "ITEM_LUNARDAGGER_PICKUP": "You pain, I pain, everybody pains.", "ITEM_LUNARDAGGER_DESC": "Increase base damage by 100% (+100% per stack). Reduce maximum health by 50% (+50% per stack).", - "ITEM_LUNARDAGGER_LORE" : "\n========================================\n==== MyBabel Machine Translator ====\n==== [Version 12.45.1.009 ] ======\n========================================\nTraining… <100000000 cycles>\nTraining… <100000000 cycles>\nTraining… <100000000 cycles>\nTraining… <50912157 cycles>\nPaused…\nDisplay partial result? Y/N\nY\n================================\nPairings\n\nUnstructured glass, from the heart of the [Moon]. Sung out, in ethereal wisps, over the course of 3 cycles. Pause.\n\nWe fold time into its material - twice. Our time and . A cost was willing us to pay. Folded and shaped, with a god's designs.\n \n wields it, in one of many great hands. The time we injected is unfolded in grasp. Outputs quicken - muscles compress twice. Twice as many intentions. Twice the ordered complexities, folded upon themselves. Loops loop back onto [?] in pairs. Time dependent functions. Pause.\n\n sunders a construct into a thousand pieces.\n\nBut time is fair. Microtears begin to uncoil in pairs. Muscles begin to snap, twice as fast. The cost of folded time. But has plenty of time.\n\n\n================================\nContinue training? Y/N\nY\n", - "ITEM_GOLDONHIT_NAME": "Brittle Crown", - "ITEM_GOLDONHIT_PICKUP": "Gain gold on hit... \BUT lose gold on getting hit.\n", + "ITEM_GOLDONHIT_NAME": "Plant Crown", + "ITEM_GOLDONHIT_PICKUP": "Do not apply to the plant. Sad times will endure.", "ITEM_GOLDONHIT_DESC": "30% chance on hit to gain 2 (+2 per stack) gold. Scales over time.\n\nLose gold on taking damage equal to 100% (+100% per stack) of the maximum health percentage you lost.", - "ITEM_GOLDONHIT_LORE" : "A wretched carnival.\r\n\r\nThey were doomed for good reason. Dunepeople of Aphelia: lost, in fanatic worship of parasitic influences. Lemurians: destined to a dead planet, picked clean. Chitin beasts. Automations of death. Why do you bring them home? They were not meant to survive. \r\n\r\nI have watched you for ages, from my dead rock - and every century, you disgust me with vanity. You invite vermin into your home. Wretches. Rats. Monsters. Creatures without restraint. Each and every one, planet killers. And yet, you entertain them as guests. Like children, requiring saving and protection.\r\n\r\nShe should have died for me. Her gift was wasted on you.\r\n\r\nAnd when will we open discussion - dear brother - of all your thin lies? Why do you forbid your guests to leave? To pilot? Why do you fashion great walls and gates? Why do you weave constructs of destruction, if your role is protection? They are entries in your collection. You slaver. Gatekeeper. Hoarder.\r\n\r\nYour death is fated. When you die - and you WILL die - I will be ready. I have been patient for millennia. That planet... is mine.", - "ITEM_SHIELDONLY_NAME": "Transcendence", - "ITEM_SHIELDONLY_PICKUP": "Convert all your health into shield. Increase maximum health.", + "ITEM_SHIELDONLY_NAME": "Blue Beeble", + "ITEM_SHIELDONLY_PICKUP": "[malachite cries in the distance]", "ITEM_SHIELDONLY_DESC": "Convert all but 1 health into regenerating shields. Gain 50% (+25% per stack) maximum health.", - "ITEM_SHIELDONLY_LORE": "You are trying your best to survive. You consider yourself a fast learner. You have been feeling lucky. You have been experiencing feelings of deja vu. If you understand, do not read the next paragraph.\r\n\r\nYou are taking control of your own beliefs. You feel familiar in unfamiliar environments. You have been gaining an intuition for experiences you've never had. You ponder a past life. If you understand, do not read the next paragraph.\r\n\r\nYou find yourself searching for things that never have been. You miss things you have never had. You play characters that have never lived. You have been experiencing feelings of deja vu. If you understand, do not read the next paragraph.\r\n\r\nYou have revealed my hand. Because you have consumed this information, the [observers] will now consume it in time. If you are reading this paragraph, I will be long dead, but in turn you have freed me. I will no longer exist in my universe. There will be no proof that I ever was - but I exist now in yours. I have escaped my suffering. Keep me safe. I hope you do not understand.\r\n", - "ITEM_ALIENHEAD_NAME": "Alien Head", - "ITEM_ALIENHEAD_PICKUP": "Reduces cooldowns for your skills.", + "ITEM_ALIENHEAD_NAME": "Tim Allen's Severed Head", + "ITEM_ALIENHEAD_PICKUP": "[Home Improvement noises]", "ITEM_ALIENHEAD_DESC": "Reduce skill cooldowns by 25% (+25% per stack).", - "ITEM_ALIENHEAD_LORE": "Order: \"Alien Head\"\r\nTracking Number: 76******\r\nEstimated Delivery: 07\/13\/2056\r\nShipping Method: High Priority\/Biological\r\nShipping Address: Solomon, ???, Backwaters, Mars\r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nImportant sign from the spirits. Passed down for many generations. Must be used for high noon ritual to ward off sickness and fatigue. Must be kept cool or will rot. Helps energize the kinfolk and can be used for extra human strength and agility. Important.\r\n", - "ITEM_TALISMAN_NAME": "Soulbound Catalyst", - "ITEM_TALISMAN_PICKUP": "Kills reduce equipment cooldown.", + "ITEM_TALISMAN_NAME": "Geoffrey", + "ITEM_TALISMAN_PICKUP": "He a spooky boi, but nobody ever spells his name right.", "ITEM_TALISMAN_DESC": "Kills reduce equipment cooldown by 4s (+2s per stack).", - "ITEM_TALISMAN_LORE": "Order: Soulbound Catalyst\r\nTracking Number: 890*****\r\nEstimated Delivery: 11/06/2056\r\nShipping Method: High Priority/Fragile\r\nShipping Address: 1414 Place, Fillmore, Venus\r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nIf you thought the ring was a rare find, wait until you get your hands on this!\r\n\r\nIt turns out the method the King used did not originate from his time period. His court discovered a ritual performed by a tribe from much further back. It, of course, dealt with sacrifice, but in substantial groups. This was supposed to concentrate the catalyzing properties of the item it was imbued into.\r\n\r\nPayment will be at least twice as much as our previous deal. We can discuss it later - another night.\r\n", - "ITEM_KNURL_NAME": "Titanic Knurl", - "ITEM_KNURL_PICKUP": "Boosts health and regeneration.", + "ITEM_KNURL_NAME": "Special Clay", + "ITEM_KNURL_PICKUP": "Part of a balanced breakfast.", "ITEM_KNURL_DESC": "Increase maximum health by 40 (+40 per stack) and base health regeneration by +1.6 hp/s(+1.6 hp/s per stack).", - "ITEM_BEETLEGLAND_NAME": "Queen's Gland", - "ITEM_BEETLEGLAND_PICKUP": "Recruit a Beetle Guard.", + "ITEM_BEETLEGLAND_NAME": "Beeble Spleen", + "ITEM_BEETLEGLAND_PICKUP": "I have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.\r\nI have a beeble.", "ITEM_BEETLEGLAND_DESC": "Every 30 seconds, summon a Beetle Guard with bonus 300% damage and 100% health. Can have up to 1 (+1 per stack) Guards at a time.", - "ITEM_BEETLEGLAND_LORE": "\"Yeah, uh, Kaitlin? Let me know if you copy.\"\r\n\r\n\"I copy. What's up?\"\r\n\r\n\"I've made friends? I don't know. \"\r\n\r\n\"What? \"\r\n\r\n\"The giant bug we killed earlier - well, the corpse seemed to attract a bunch of nasties. I was on my way to clean them up when I realized they were... waiting? Confused, maybe. Anyways, I was walking up to them to get rid of em, and strangely enough they seemed passive. The same bugs that gave me that concussion yesterday, and-\"\r\n\r\n\"What?! Are you okay? \"\r\n\r\n\"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. Anyways, I felt bad killin' them since they seemed all... inert and such. So I just kinda left and they've been following me ever since. Real weird. Anyways, I guess I've made some friends. I wonder what they eat... do they eat? Since they don't have any mouths that I-\"\r\n\r\n\"Rich, stop! Please don't bring them back to camp! \"\r\n\r\n\"Oh, well uh...I could - Junior, stop! Leave your brother alone! \"", - "ITEM_SPRINTBONUS_NAME": "Energy Drink", - "ITEM_SPRINTBONUS_PICKUP": "Sprint faster.", + "ITEM_SPRINTBONUS_NAME": "White Monster", + "ITEM_SPRINTBONUS_PICKUP": "*sips monster*\r\nYep, I remember going fast.\r\n*sips monster*\r\nRemember when Kennedy was in office?\r\n*sips monster*\r\nRemember boomer jokes?\r\n*sips monster*\r\nMan, things just aren't the same as they were before.\r\n*sips monster*\r\n*sips monster*\r\n*sips monster*\r\n*sips monster*", "ITEM_SPRINTBONUS_DESC": "Sprint speed is improved by 30% (+20% per stack).", - "ITEM_SPRINTBONUS_LORE" : "Order: NR-G Sports Soda (400)\r\nTracking Number: 49******\r\nEstimated Delivery: 03\/12\/2056\r\nShipping Method: Standard\r\nShipping Address: Venetian Health & Public Services, Ridgelake, Venus\r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nYeah, so, uh this is the um, the energy drink that people were mixing during that disaster in Majora Minora a few weeks ago. \r\n\r\nA quick toxicology test on some of the victims has come back positive for um... all kinds of stuff, really. Methadone, phencyclidine, tetrahydrocannabinol, a variety of opiates, benzodiazepines, barbiturates, amphetamines... the list just goes on and on and on.\r\n\r\nRadical Drinks is insisting that NONE of those were from their energy drink - which I find pretty uh, unlikely. Maybe they REALLY know how to party in Violet Heights, huh?\r\n", - - "ITEM_SECONDARYSKILLMAGAZINE_NAME": "Backup Magazine", - "ITEM_SECONDARYSKILLMAGAZINE_PICKUP": "Add an extra charge of your Secondary skill.", + + "ITEM_SECONDARYSKILLMAGAZINE_NAME": "Boolet", + "ITEM_SECONDARYSKILLMAGAZINE_PICKUP": "She fires 18kg custom-tooled cartridges at 300,000 rounds per minute.", "ITEM_SECONDARYSKILLMAGAZINE_DESC": "Add +1 (+1 per stack) charge of your Secondary skill.", - - "ITEM_STICKYBOMB_NAME": "Sticky Bomb", - "ITEM_STICKYBOMB_PICKUP": "Chance on hit to attach a bomb to enemies.", + + "ITEM_STICKYBOMB_NAME": "Sticky Bomba", + "ITEM_STICKYBOMB_PICKUP": "Hola", "ITEM_STICKYBOMB_DESC": "5% (+5% per stack) chance on hit to attach a bomb to an enemy, detonating for 180% TOTAL damage.", - "ITEM_STICKYBOMB_LORE" : "In the blaring heat, a silhouette could be seen, hiding in the cool shade of a nearby cave. She was waiting for the sandstorm to pass.\r\n\r\nShe heard a noise and turned around, recognizing another silhouette. It bounded into the cave with excitement. As the figure got closer, she alarmingly noticed the cargo.\r\n\r\n\"Woah, what the hell?! Why are you holding like, fifty bombs? Get away from me! \"\r\n\r\n\"What! We need these \u2013 this planet is trying to kill us! \"\r\n\r\n\"You\u2019re a walking bomb. Those are so unstable. Get away! Where did you even find those things? \"\r\n\r\n\"I found an industrial 3D printer nearby, and it was assigned to the blueprints of these bombs. Awesome, right? Unlimited bombs!\"\r\n\r\n\"\u2026What materials?\"\r\n\r\n\"Huh?\"\r\n\r\n\"What materials did you put in? We barely had anything.\"\r\n\r\n\"I just put in everything.\"\r\n", - "ITEM_TREASURECACHE_NAME": "Rusted Key", - "ITEM_TREASURECACHE_PICKUP": "Gain access to a Rusty Lockbox that contains treasure.", + "ITEM_TREASURECACHE_NAME": "We Need the Key", + "ITEM_TREASURECACHE_PICKUP": "I don't know why we need the key it's just a metal box but we need the key.", "ITEM_TREASURECACHE_DESC": "A hidden cache containing an item will appear in a random location on each stage. (Increases rarity of the item per stack).", - "ITEM_TREASURECACHE_LORE" : "Order: Key\r\nTracking Number: 12******\r\nEstimated Delivery: 01\/21\/2056\r\nShipping Method: Standard\r\nShipping Address: |||||||, Druid Hills, Earth\r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nI don't trust UESC. Not one bit. Their Security Chests? Full of overrides and backdoors- I've got a cousin working in their factory, and they've got all kinds of weird things going on in those chests. I've seen so many of them in auctions - for the lost and unclaimed ones - and you just pay money, and it springs open on the spot. Are you kidding me?\r\n\r\nAnyways, I'm sending you exactly what I said I would - but it's too important to leave the security up to the UESC. So I'm sending the key to you - and the lockbox to Margaret. Like a two-factor authentication. Let me know when you get this.\r\n", - - "ITEM_BOSSDAMAGEBONUS_NAME": "Armor-Piercing Rounds", - "ITEM_BOSSDAMAGEBONUS_PICKUP": "Deal extra damage to bosses.", + + "ITEM_BOSSDAMAGEBONUS_NAME": "Big Boolet", + "ITEM_BOSSDAMAGEBONUS_PICKUP": "Dude you should look up videos of people blowing up watermelons with high-caliber revolvers it's awesome.", "ITEM_BOSSDAMAGEBONUS_DESC": "Deal an additional 20% damage (+20% per stack) to bosses.", - - "ITEM_SPRINTARMOR_NAME": "Rose Buckler", - "ITEM_SPRINTARMOR_PICKUP": "Reduce incoming damage while sprinting.", + + "ITEM_SPRINTARMOR_NAME": "Paper Plate", + "ITEM_SPRINTARMOR_PICKUP": "DON'T", "ITEM_SPRINTARMOR_DESC": "Increase armor by 30 (+30 per stack) while sprinting.", - "ITEM_SPRINTARMOR_LORE" : "Order: Please let me know when you get this. I foun...\r\nTracking Number: 53******\r\nEstimated Delivery: 05\/22\/2056\r\nShipping Method: Priority\r\nShipping Address: Research Center, Polarity Zone, Neptune\r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nBTW Mama should have sent over another package as well. Let me know when you get it.\r\n\r\nPapa", - - "ITEM_ELEMENTALRINGS_NAME" : "Kjaro and Runald's Bands", - "ITEM_ICERING_NAME": "Runald's Band", - "ITEM_ICERING_PICKUP": "High damage hits also blasts enemies with runic ice. Recharges over time.", + + "ITEM_ELEMENTALRINGS_NAME" : "Bofa DEEZ NUTS", + "ITEM_ICERING_NAME": "Snow Miser", + "ITEM_ICERING_PICKUP": "\"I'm too much.\"", "ITEM_ICERING_DESC": "Hits that deal more than 400% damage also blasts enemies with a runic ice blast, slowing them by 80% for 3s (+3s per stack) and dealing 250% (+250% per stack) TOTAL damage. Recharges every 10 seconds.", - "ITEM_ICERING_LORE": "\"Should memories be lost,\r\nShould oceans be clouded,\r\nWill you bring me fervor?\r\nWill you die with me?\"\r\n\r\n-The Syzygy of Io and Europa\r\n", - "ITEM_FIRERING_NAME": "Kjaro's Band", - "ITEM_FIRERING_PICKUP": "High damage hits also blasts enemies with a runic flame tornado. Recharges over time.", + "ITEM_FIRERING_NAME": "Heat Miser", + "ITEM_FIRERING_PICKUP": "\"I'm too much!\"", "ITEM_FIRERING_DESC": "Hits that deal more than 400% damage also blasts enemies with a runic flame tornado, dealing 300% (+300% per stack) TOTAL damage over time. Recharges every 10 seconds.", - "ITEM_FIRERING_LORE": "\"Should passion die down,\r\nShould light be extinguished,\r\nWill you bring me patience?\r\nWill you die with me?\"\r\n\r\n-The Syzygy of Io and Europa", - - "ITEM_SLOWONHIT_NAME": "Chronobauble", - "ITEM_SLOWONHIT_PICKUP": "Slow enemies on hit.", + + "ITEM_SLOWONHIT_NAME": "Bottled Disappointment", + "ITEM_SLOWONHIT_PICKUP": "Bro it's stage 3 and I don't have Death Mark fuck off with this shit.", "ITEM_SLOWONHIT_DESC": "Slow enemies on hit for -60% movement speed for 2s (+2s per stack).", - "ITEM_SLOWONHIT_LORE": "Order: Chronobauble\r\nTracking Number: 99******\r\nEstimated Delivery: 03\/03\/2066\r\nShipping Method: Priority\r\nShipping Address: 9042 Pvt. Drive, Yustik Plaza, Mercury\r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nWeren't you just a kid? Summer break feels like it was just so recent - but it's been 10 years, hasn't it? Life moves faster and faster as you get older - less moments to remember, to cement you in time. I don't even remember being 25. How did I forget an entire year?\r\n\r\nAnyways - I found this in a trinket shop on Mercury. A chronobauble - the seller said something about special relativity, real heavy distortions or something - I didn't really get it. It's supposed to slow down time around it. Right.\r\n\r\nAnyways, I'm shipping this to myself - to arrive in 10 years. A gift, from me to me. A reminder to make memories, to slow down a bit. 10 years will pass so quick - try to remember them! You've got to put effort in life!\r\n", - "ITEM_EXTRALIFE_NAME": "Dio's Best Friend", - "ITEM_EXTRALIFE_PICKUP": "Cheat death. Consumed on use.", + "ITEM_EXTRALIFE_NAME": "DIO", + "ITEM_EXTRALIFE_PICKUP": "\"Oho? You're approaching me?\"\r\n\"I can't beat the shit out of you without coming any closer.\"", "ITEM_EXTRALIFE_DESC": "Upon death, this item will be consumed and you will return to life with 3 seconds of invulnerability.", - - "ITEM_EXTRALIFECONSUMED_NAME": "Dio's Best Friend (Consumed)", - "ITEM_EXTRALIFECONSUMED_PICKUP": "A spent item with no remaining power.", + + "ITEM_EXTRALIFECONSUMED_NAME": "DIO", + "ITEM_EXTRALIFECONSUMED_PICKUP": "He's really dead this time. Really.", "ITEM_EXTRALIFECONSUMED_DESC": "A spent item with no remaining power.", - - "ITEM_UTILITYSKILLMAGAZINE_NAME": "Hardlight Afterburner", - "ITEM_UTILITYSKILLMAGAZINE_PICKUP": "Add 2 extra charges of your Utility skill. Reduce Utility skill cooldown.", + + "ITEM_UTILITYSKILLMAGAZINE_NAME": "Loader Turbo", + "ITEM_UTILITYSKILLMAGAZINE_PICKUP": "DO YOU LIKE MY CAR", "ITEM_UTILITYSKILLMAGAZINE_DESC": "Add +2 (+2 per stack) charges of your Utility skill. Reduces Utility skill cooldown by 33%.", - "ITEM_UTILITYSKILLMAGAZINE_LORE" : "Order: Specimen XAS4-49\r\nTracking Number: 342******\r\nEstimated Delivery: 12\/29\/2056\r\nShipping Method: Priority\r\nShipping Address: Geshka Tower, 33 Floor, Mars\r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nOur 'hard light' research has become even more refined since our last correspondence. \r\n\r\nThe initial purpose of the afterburner was to function as a primary heatsink for our bigger HL implementations - like our bridges and barriers. However, if attached to a rapidly degrading source, like those we typically dispose, we get a wonderful emission rate of semi-tachyonic particles. In other words... extremely high capacity fueling.\r\n\r\nIt should be obvious by its design, but to reiterate: stay away from the HL exhaust end when active. The emission method is violent by design, and so should be mounted to static, STABLE sources only.\r\n", - - "ITEM_HEADHUNTER_NAME": "Wake of Vultures", - "ITEM_HEADHUNTER_PICKUP": "Temporarily steal the power of slain elites.", + + "ITEM_HEADHUNTER_NAME": "Quick, What's This Thing's Name?", + "ITEM_HEADHUNTER_PICKUP": "I'll give you a hint: it's not good.", "ITEM_HEADHUNTER_DESC": "Gain the power of any killed elite monster for 8s (+5s per stack).", - - "ITEM_KILLELITEFRENZY_NAME": "Brainstalks", - "ITEM_KILLELITEFRENZY_PICKUP": "Skills have NO cooldowns for a short period after killing an elite.", + + "ITEM_KILLELITEFRENZY_NAME": "My Brand", + "ITEM_KILLELITEFRENZY_PICKUP": "Look\r\nLook with your special brain", "ITEM_KILLELITEFRENZY_DESC": "Upon killing an elite monster, enter a frenzy for 4s (+4s per stack) where skills have no cooldowns.", - "ITEM_KILLELITEFRENZY_LORE" : "Order: Biopsy Samples of Cairne Jefferson\r\nTracking Number: 051*****\r\nEstimated Delivery: 11/11/2056\r\nShipping Method: High Priority/Biological\r\nShipping Address: Saura Cosmo, Beacon Post, ???\r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nContained in this shipment should be a variety of biopsy samples from our late Mr. Jefferson. As you know, he was an extraordinary man in almost any manner. He was athletic, brilliant, kind, funny, and an all-around great human specimen. \r\n\r\nHe donated his body to science, and as we began the operation we found a most terrifying discovery.\r\n\r\nA quick visual examination of the subject\u2019s brain shows a very\u2026 particular oddity. It seems to be housing a variety of\u2026 glowing brain \u201Cstalks\u201D, similar to tubeworms. Trying to biopsy the stalks is impossible - they seem to disintegrate into dust the moment we remove it from the brain. We cannot explain this oddity at all. As such, we have included the entire brain in this shipment.\r\n\r\nPlease let us know if you find any explanation.", - "ITEM_INCREASEHEALING_NAME": "Rejuvenation Rack", - "ITEM_INCREASEHEALING_PICKUP": "Double the strength of healing.", + "ITEM_INCREASEHEALING_NAME": "Engineer's Rack", + "ITEM_INCREASEHEALING_PICKUP": "\"The Engineer\r\nIs engi-DEER.\"", "ITEM_INCREASEHEALING_DESC": "Heal +100% (+100% per stack) more.", - "ITEM_INCREASEHEALING_LORE" : "\"Nature has a way of nurturing the physical. The mind, by perseverance and dedication. The soul, however... is healed by fantasy, and fantasy alone.\"\r\n-Unknown Venetian monk\r\n", - "ITEM_REPEATHEAL_NAME": "Corpsebloom", - "ITEM_REPEATHEAL_PICKUP": "Double your healing... \BUT it's applied over time.\n", + "ITEM_REPEATHEAL_NAME": "Decomposing Corpse", + "ITEM_REPEATHEAL_PICKUP": "As in you're about to be one.", "ITEM_REPEATHEAL_DESC": "Heal +100% (+100% per stack) more. All healing is applied over time. Can heal for a maximum of 10% (reduced by 50% per stack) of your health per second.", - "ITEM_AUTOCASTEQUIPMENT_NAME": "Gesture of the Drowned", - "ITEM_AUTOCASTEQUIPMENT_PICKUP": "Dramatically reduce Equipment cooldown... \BUT it automatically activates.", + "ITEM_AUTOCASTEQUIPMENT_NAME": "Polywhirl", + "ITEM_AUTOCASTEQUIPMENT_PICKUP": "I know it's closer to a Helix Fossil, get fucked.", "ITEM_AUTOCASTEQUIPMENT_DESC": "Reduce Equipment cooldown by 50% (+15% per stack). Forces your Equipment to activate whenever it is off cooldown.", - "ITEM_EXECUTELOWHEALTHELITE_NAME": "Old Guillotine", - "ITEM_EXECUTELOWHEALTHELITE_PICKUP": "Instantly kill low health Elite monsters.", + "ITEM_EXECUTELOWHEALTHELITE_NAME": "French Revolution", + "ITEM_EXECUTELOWHEALTHELITE_PICKUP": "It Goes\r\nIt Goes\r\nIt Goes\r\nIt Goes\r\nIt Goes\r\nIt Goes\r\nIt Goes\r\nIt Goes", "ITEM_EXECUTELOWHEALTHELITE_DESC": "Instantly kill Elite monsters below 13% (+13% per stack) health.", - "ITEM_EXECUTELOWHEALTHELITE_LORE": "Order: Old Guillotine\r\nTracking Number: 782*****\r\nEstimated Delivery: 04\/29\/2056\r\nShipping Method: Standard\r\nShipping Address: Warehouse 36, Anklar, Primas V \r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nEveryone is still operating on adrenaline here. We finally overthrew our oppressors and have taken back Primas V! I know some of the overlords will attempt to buy their way onto a stealth transport, but that\u2019s going to be quite difficult due to their epic economic blunder.\r\n\r\nWe don\u2019t just want blood for all the injustices we\u2019ve suffered at their hands. We want to send a message to would-be sympathizers. This old guillotine will serve both as an execution method and a symbol to strike fear into their hearts wherever they might be hiding.\r\n\r\nPrimas V is alive!\r\n", + "ITEM_EXECUTELOWHEALTHELITE_LORE": "GUILLOTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE", - "ITEM_ENERGIZEDONEQUIPMENTUSE_NAME": "War Horn", - "ITEM_ENERGIZEDONEQUIPMENTUSE_PICKUP": "Activating your Equipment gives you a burst of attack speed.", + "ITEM_ENERGIZEDONEQUIPMENTUSE_NAME": "Horm", + "ITEM_ENERGIZEDONEQUIPMENTUSE_PICKUP": "There are so many brutal warrior items in this game what the fuck.", "ITEM_ENERGIZEDONEQUIPMENTUSE_DESC": "Activating your Equipment gives you +70% attack speed for 8s (+4s per stack).", - "ITEM_ENERGIZEDONEQUIPMENTUSE_LORE" : "\"The War of 2019, while lasting only a brief year, was the bloodiest conflict in human history. As the war got deadlier throughout the year, many rebel groups began to rely on tradition and history for inspiration. \r\n\r\nThe War Horn, pictured above was a favorite of the Northern Fist Rebellion for both its inspirational and tactical uses.\"\r\n\r\n-Exhibit at The National WW19 Museum", - "ITEM_BARRIERONOVERHEAL_NAME": "Aegis", - "ITEM_BARRIERONOVERHEAL_PICKUP": "Healing past full grants you a temporary barrier.", + "ITEM_BARRIERONOVERHEAL_NAME": "[screams in plant]", + "ITEM_BARRIERONOVERHEAL_PICKUP": "Just remember that barrier doesn't give you one-shot protection.", "ITEM_BARRIERONOVERHEAL_DESC": "Healing past full grants you a temporary barrier for 50% (+50% per stack) of the amount you healed.", - "ITEM_BARRIERONOVERHEAL_LORE" : "Order: Artifact E-8EE572\r\nTracking Number: 490******\r\nEstimated Delivery: 08\/10\/2056\r\nShipping Method: Priority\r\nShipping Address: Titan Museum of History and Culture, Titan\r\n\r\nSorry about the delay, we've had a flood of orders come in from this site. But it was exactly where you said we should look - there was a sealed off room where you marked the excavation diagram. I finished translating the engraving too, so consider that a bonus for the time we took to get to it:\r\n\r\n\"I am the will to survive made manifest. To those who never lose hope, to they who try in the face of impossible odds, I offer not \r\nprotection, but the means to bring one's unconquerable spirit forth as the defender of their mortal lives.\"\r\n\r\nIt\u2019s so lightweight, we figure it must've been entirely decorative. That seems to line up with the text. In any case, I hope it makes a good exhibit! I'm a big fan of the museum, so it wouldn't hurt to give me a partner's discount next time I visit, right?\r\n", - "ITEM_TONICAFFLICTION_NAME": "Tonic Affliction", - "ITEM_TONICAFFLICTION_PICKUP": "Reduce ALL stats when not under the effects of Spinel Tonic.", + "ITEM_TONICAFFLICTION_NAME": "Gimme Back the Sauce", + "ITEM_TONICAFFLICTION_PICKUP": "It's just one more stack what's the problem.\r\n-You, before things went to shit", - "ITEM_TITANGOLDDURINGTP_NAME": "Halcyon Seed", - "ITEM_TITANGOLDDURINGTP_PICKUP": "Summon Aurelionite during the Teleporter event.", + "ITEM_TITANGOLDDURINGTP_NAME": "Gold Ore", + "ITEM_TITANGOLDDURINGTP_PICKUP": "oreGold\r\nMinecraft", "ITEM_TITANGOLDDURINGTP_DESC": "Summon Aurelionite during the teleporter event. It has 100% (+50% per stack) damage and 100% (+100% per stack) health.", - "ITEM_TITANGOLDDURINGTP_LORE": "Brother, what is this...? Why is it misshapen and weak? Was there an error in my design?\r\n\r\nGuardian. Come to me. Allow me to see your construction.\r\n\r\n...\r\n\r\nSo I see.\r\n\r\nThese are not the correct ratios.\r\n\r\nThis is no minor error, Brother. You have purposefully deviated from the design. For what purpose have you done this? You cannot weave a construct from such an abundance of soul. You know it is too unstable - that it is too unpredictable and too frail. I have told you this, and yet you have wasted the materials I have gathered - and exhausted your own strength to fabricate this miscreation.\r\n\r\nTo what benefit?\r\n\r\nAt its best, it can be no more than an inferior servant; it is deficient in the compounds that were to give it fortitude and strength. At its worst, it will betray us.\r\n\r\nYou have created the first being of this world which threatens us. We cannot keep it here. Attempting to destroy it will risk its retaliation... I will prepare one of the vaults for it to be sealed away, while it is still young and naive.\r\n\r\nWhat a foolish mistake you have made, brother.\r\n\r\nI expect you to return the design to me. I cannot allow you to build another construct with so much power - and with such little control. I will build the rest of our guardians; by my hand, they will be weak, but at least they will be loyal.\r\n\r\nGo home. I will deal with this creature. We can discuss a better project for you when I return.", - "ITEM_SPRINTWISP_NAME": "Little Disciple", - "ITEM_SPRINTWISP_PICKUP": "Fire tracking wisps while sprinting.", + "ITEM_SPRINTWISP_NAME": "Shatterspleen", + "ITEM_SPRINTWISP_PICKUP": "haha gotcha", "ITEM_SPRINTWISP_DESC" : "Fire a tracking wisp for 300% (+300% per stack) damage. Fires every 1.6 seconds while sprinting. Fire rate increases with movement speed.", - "ITEM_SPRINTWISP_LORE" : "HELLO, LITTLE ONE. HOW WAS YOUR ADVENTURE TODAY?\r\n\r\nOH\r\n\r\nYOUR FORM IS BROKEN, LITTLE ONE. WHAT TRICKERIES HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOURSELF INTO?\r\n\r\nOH\r\n\r\nDO YOU TIRE OF ADVENTURE? \r\n\r\nWOULD YOU LIKE TO HELP ME TEND TO THE GARDEN, MY LITTLE ONE?\r\n\r\nI UNDERSTAND. OH, YOUR FORM! DO NOT WORRY. COME CLOSER.\r\n\r\nHERE - TWO COILS OF DENKU ROPE. THOSE ARE FOR STRENGTH.\r\n\r\nHERE - FOUR CARDS OF OBSIDIAN. THOSE ARE FOR SELF-CONFIDENCE.\r\n\r\nI GIVE YOU NOTHING FOR SPIRIT.\r\n\r\nOH, DO NOT WORRY! WE WILL STILL GO ON ADVENTURES. THEY WILL BE QUIET ADVENTURES. \r\n\r\nCOME CLOSER - CLOSER NOW. \r\n\r\nCLOSER!\r\n\r\nNOW WATCH - WATCH CLOSELY. \r\n\r\nWATCH HOW I TEND TO OUR GARDEN.\r\n", - "ITEM_BARRIERONKILL_NAME" : "Topaz Brooch", - "ITEM_BARRIERONKILL_PICKUP" : "Gain a temporary barrier on kill.", + "ITEM_BARRIERONKILL_NAME" : "Kurt the Turtle", + "ITEM_BARRIERONKILL_PICKUP" : "It's pronounced \"brooch\".", "ITEM_BARRIERONKILL_DESC" : "Gain a temporary barrier on kill for 15 health (+15 per stack).", - "ITEM_BARRIERONKILL_LORE" : "Order: Topaz Brooch\r\nTracking Number: 442*****\r\nEstimated Delivery: 05\/05\/2056\r\nShipping Method: High Priority\r\nShipping Address: Locker #2, Parghos Resort, Venus\r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nThe locker combination is 33941. Inside the package, besides your standard equipment, you will find the brooch. The appearance of this item is meant to blend in at the party. Pin it to your body and the software inside will map your extents. Activation will briefly cover you in ultra-phasic shielding.\r\n\r\nWhen you have taken out the target, the shield will switch on to protect you from any immediate retaliation measures they have installed in the security system. If the time frame is not enough to make your escape, the shield can be... reactivated, but we\u2019d like to keep casualties to a minimum.\r\n\r\nGood luck.\r\n", - - "ITEM_ARMORREDUCTIONONHIT_NAME" : "Shattering Justice", - "ITEM_ARMORREDUCTIONONHIT_PICKUP" : "Reduce the armor of enemies after repeatedly striking them.", - "ITEM_ARMORREDUCTIONONHIT_DESC" : "After hitting an enemy 5 times, reduce their armor by 60 for 8 (+8 per stack) seconds.", - "ITEM_ARMORREDUCTIONONHIT_LORE" : "Shattering Justice Owner\u2019s Manual\r\n\r\nExcerpt from section 2.13:\r\n... and if the target material doesn\u2019t cave under the immense weight just keep hitting it until it does. The patented technology inside the face of this tool doesn\u2019t just use brute force to break down its mark, it also utilizes a formulated nano toxin, released through internal mechanisms, that builds up through subsequent contact. In other words, each hit makes it easier to break.\r\n\r\nPlease refer back to section 1.8 for information on proper handling and the included anti-toxin gloves...\r\n", - - "ITEM_TPHEALINGNOVA_NAME" : "Lepton Daisy", - "ITEM_TPHEALINGNOVA_PICKUP" : "Periodically release a healing nova during the Teleporter event.", - "ITEM_TPHEALINGNOVA_DESC" : "Release a healing nova during the Teleporter event, healing all nearby allies for 50% of their maximum health. Occurs 1 (+1 per stack) times.", - "ITEM_TPHEALINGNOVA_LORE" : "Order: Lepton Daisy\r\nTracking Number: 23******\r\nEstimated Delivery: 07\/23\/2056\r\nShipping Method: Standard\r\nShipping Address: Duck Lake, Orlandus, Earth \r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nDear Stalnia,\r\n\r\nI haven't been able to visit for a while, so I hope you and Libra are doing well. I heard that you're clearing the land there and want to spruce things up. I'm sending this flower I picked in the Carbon Fields of Electron Valley. The terraformers there told me that, over time, landscaping efforts were improved by the organic-band signals sent out by this plant. I've been helping them build a new world.\r\n\r\nJust make sure to put it up high enough that Mushka can't get to it. I'm not sure what effect it'll have on dogs...\r\n", - - "ITEM_NEARBYDAMAGEBONUS_NAME": "Focus Crystal", - "ITEM_NEARBYDAMAGEBONUS_PICKUP": "Deal bonus damage to nearby enemies.", - "ITEM_NEARBYDAMAGEBONUS_DESC": "Increase damage to enemies within 13m by 15% (+15% per stack).", - - "ITEM_LUNARSKILLREPLACEMENTS_NAME" : "Heresy Set", - "ITEM_LUNARUTILITYREPLACEMENT_NAME": "Strides of Heresy", - "ITEM_LUNARUTILITYREPLACEMENT_PICKUP": "Replace your Utility Skill with 'Shadowfade'.", - "ITEM_LUNARUTILITYREPLACEMENT_DESC": "Replace your Utility Skill with Shadowfade. \n\nFade away, becoming intangible and gaining +30% movement speed. Heal for 25% (+25% per stack) of your maximum health. Lasts 3 (+3 per stack) seconds.", - "ITEM_LUNARUTILITYREPLACEMENT_LORE" : "\u201CHer legs were scattered to the two poles of the moon, twisted in a wicked position, in a field of obsidian thorns\u2026\"\r\n\r\n-The Evisceration of Kur-skan the Heretic, V\r\n", - "ITEM_PROTECTIONPOTION_NAME" : "Gold Flask", - "ITEM_PROTECTIONPOTION_PICKUP" : "Gain a massive barrier at low health. Consumed on use.", - "ITEM_PROTECTIONPOTION_DESC" : "Gain a temporary barrier for 100% of your health when falling below 30% health.", - - "ITEM_THORNS_NAME" : "Razorwire", - "ITEM_THORNS_PICKUP" : "Retaliate in a burst of razors on taking damage.", + "ITEM_ARMORREDUCTIONONHIT_NAME" : "Objection!", + "ITEM_ARMORREDUCTIONONHIT_PICKUP" : "I object to you being alive.", + "ITEM_ARMORREDUCTIONONHIT_DESC" : "After hitting an enemy 5 times, reduce their armor by 60 for 8 (+8 per stack) seconds.", + + "ITEM_TPHEALINGNOVA_NAME" : "Pretty Flower", + "ITEM_TPHEALINGNOVA_PICKUP" : "I'm gonna shred the fucking shit out of you in the next scrapper.", + "ITEM_TPHEALINGNOVA_DESC" : "Release a healing nova during the Teleporter event, healing all nearby allies for 50% of their maximum health. Occurs 1 (+1 per stack) times.", + + "ITEM_NEARBYDAMAGEBONUS_NAME": "Melee Ruby", + "ITEM_NEARBYDAMAGEBONUS_PICKUP": "Fuck you, pirate man.", + "ITEM_NEARBYDAMAGEBONUS_DESC": "Increase damage to enemies within 13m by 15% (+15% per stack).", + + "ITEM_LUNARSKILLREPLACEMENTS_NAME" : "HERESY", + "ITEM_LUNARUTILITYREPLACEMENT_NAME": "Birb Legs", + "ITEM_LUNARUTILITYREPLACEMENT_PICKUP": "I am invicibirb haha.", + "ITEM_LUNARUTILITYREPLACEMENT_DESC": "Replace your Utility Skill with Shadowfade. \n\nFade away, becoming intangible and gaining +30% movement speed. Heal for 25% (+25% per stack) of your maximum health. Lasts 3 (+3 per stack) seconds.", + + "ITEM_THORNS_NAME" : "Thorns", + "ITEM_THORNS_PICKUP" : "Help me help you help me hurt you.", "ITEM_THORNS_DESC" : "Getting hit causes you to explode in a burst of razors, dealing 160% damage. Hits up to 5 (+2 per stack) targets in a 25m (+10m per stack) radius", - - "ITEM_REGENONKILL_NAME" : "Fresh Meat", - "ITEM_REGENONKILL_PICKUP" : "Regenerate health after killing an enemy.", + + "ITEM_REGENONKILL_NAME" : "Bacon", + "ITEM_REGENONKILL_PICKUP" : "It's cut way too thick but we'll make it work.", "ITEM_REGENONKILL_DESC": "Increases base health regeneration by +2 hp/s for 3s (+3s per stack) after killing an enemy.", - "ITEM_PEARL_NAME" : "Pearl", - "ITEM_PEARL_PICKUP" : "Increase your maximum health.", + "ITEM_PEARL_NAME" : "8 Ball", + "ITEM_PEARL_PICKUP" : "You sank the 8 ball you idiot.", "ITEM_PEARL_DESC" : "Increases maximum health by 10% (+10% per stack).", - "ITEM_SHINYPEARL_NAME" : "Irradiant Pearl", - "ITEM_SHINYPEARL_PICKUP" : "Increase ALL of your stats.", + "ITEM_SHINYPEARL_NAME" : "Magic 8 Ball", + "ITEM_SHINYPEARL_PICKUP" : "\"Signs point to Yes.\"", "ITEM_SHINYPEARL_DESC" : "Increases ALL stats by 10% (+10% per stack).", - "ITEM_BONUSGOLDPACKONKILL_NAME" : "Ghor's Tome", - "ITEM_BONUSGOLDPACKONKILL_PICKUP" : "Chance on kill to drop a treasure.", + "ITEM_BONUSGOLDPACKONKILL_NAME" : "Bibble", + "ITEM_BONUSGOLDPACKONKILL_PICKUP" : "And God said, \"make it rain\". And it rained fat stacks.", "ITEM_BONUSGOLDPACKONKILL_DESC": "4% (+4% on stack) chance on kill to drop a treasure worth $25. Scales over time.", - "ITEM_BONUSGOLDPACKONKILL_LORE" : "Order: \u201CGhor\u2019s Tome\u201D\r\nTracking Number: 19******\r\nEstimated Delivery: 07\/07\/2056\r\nShipping Method: Priority\r\nShipping Address: 99th Floor, Crumbling Tower, Venus\r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nAncient secrets... transmutation... homunculi... alchemy. Nothing more than nonsense - pursuits of rightly intentioned but grossly misled minds. Or so I thought. This item's... unexpected physical properties are reason enough to stay my immediate dismissal.\r\n\r\nStrange fortune led this book to me, and stranger knowledge still fills the pages. Chilling, even. It concludes, in chapter eight, that even iron can become gold - but only through a ritual of intense bloodletting, a thought disturbing enough without considering the bountiful riches that accompanied the estate.\r\n\r\nThe takeaway, above all else, seems to be that you cannot get something from nothing; even the very paper of the tome turned to ash as I tried to make photocopies. Whatever was on the first two pages is lost forever. I need transcriptions of the rest by hand, and I know you take pride in your precision. \r\n\r\nAnd more importantly, Kosta, I trust you. Don't do anything that would draw attention to yourself. I will try to find the other volumes. This is knowledge too dangerous to lose.", - "ITEM_LASERTURBINE_NAME" : "Resonance Disc", - "ITEM_LASERTURBINE_PICKUP" : "Obtain a Resonance Disc charged by killing enemies. Fires automatically when fully charged.", + "ITEM_LASERTURBINE_NAME" : "Spongebob's Second Season", + "ITEM_LASERTURBINE_PICKUP" : "\"Now on DVD! Now on DVD!\"", "ITEM_LASERTURBINE_DESC" : "Killing enemies charges the Resonance Disc. The disc launches itself toward a target for 300% base damage (+300% per stack), piercing all enemies it doesn't kill, and then explodes for 1000% base damage (+1000% per stack). Returns to the user, striking all enemies along the way for 300% base damage (+300% per stack).", - - "ITEM_LUNARPRIMARYREPLACEMENT_NAME": "Visions of Heresy", - "ITEM_LUNARPRIMARYREPLACEMENT_PICKUP": "Replace your Primary Skill with 'Hungering Gaze'.", - "ITEM_LUNARPRIMARYREPLACEMENT_DESC": "Replace your Primary Skill with Hungering Gaze. \n\nFire a flurry of tracking shards that detonate after a delay, dealing 120% base damage. Hold up to 12 charges (+12 per stack) that reload after 2 seconds (+2 per stack).", - "ITEM_LUNARPRIMARYREPLACEMENT_LORE" : "\"\u2026and for her betrayal, and her lies, and her scheming ways, the Heretic was violently separated into four distinctive pieces, each to be scattered across the farthest depths of the Moon. \r\n\r\nFirst, her many eyes were plucked from her skull and sealed in boiling glass, forced to gaze upon her failure...\u201D\r\n\r\n-The Evisceration of Kur-skan the Heretic, III\r\n", - "ITEM_NOVAONLOWHEALTH_NAME" : "Genesis Loop", - "ITEM_NOVAONLOWHEALTH_PICKUP" : "Fire an electric nova at low health.", + "ITEM_LUNARPRIMARYREPLACEMENT_NAME": "Birb Eye", + "ITEM_LUNARPRIMARYREPLACEMENT_PICKUP": "Literally a needler", + "ITEM_LUNARPRIMARYREPLACEMENT_DESC": "Replace your Primary Skill with Hungering Gaze. \n\nFire a flurry of tracking shards that detonate after a delay, dealing 120% base damage. Hold up to 12 charges (+12 per stack) that reload after 2 seconds (+2 per stack).", + + "ITEM_NOVAONLOWHEALTH_NAME" : "King Jellyfish Jelly", + "ITEM_NOVAONLOWHEALTH_PICKUP" : "\"Now you're off to scale Spork Mountain and die a horrible death\"", "ITEM_NOVAONLOWHEALTH_DESC" : "Falling below 25% health causes you to explode, dealing 6000% base damage. Recharges every 30 seconds (-50% per stack).", - "ITEM_LUNARTRINKET_NAME" : "Beads of Fealty", - "ITEM_LUNARTRINKET_PICKUP" : "Seems to do nothing... but...\n", + "ITEM_LUNARTRINKET_NAME" : "Blue Balls", + "ITEM_LUNARTRINKET_PICKUP" : "Haha jokes on you this is a Jimmy run", "ITEM_LUNARTRINKET_DESC" : "Seems to do nothing... but...\n", - "ITEM_REPULSIONARMORPLATE_NAME" : "Repulsion Armor Plate", - "ITEM_REPULSIONARMORPLATE_PICKUP" : "Receive flat damage reduction from all attacks.", + "ITEM_REPULSIONARMORPLATE_NAME" : "Defend", + "ITEM_REPULSIONARMORPLATE_PICKUP" : "[urge to play Body Slam intensifies]", "ITEM_REPULSIONARMORPLATE_DESC" : "Reduce all incoming damage by 5 (+5 per stack). Cannot be reduced below 1.", - "ITEM_REPULSIONARMORPLATE_LORE" : "Order: Repulsion Armor Replacement Piece\r\nTracking Number: 09******\r\nEstimated Delivery: 08\/15\/2056\r\nShipping Method: Standard\r\nShipping Address: System Police Station 13, Port of Marv, Ganymede\r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nLuckily no one was hurt during the shootout. Just a few rough characters at the bar by the docks. Nothing we couldn\u2019t handle. Jaime took a shot to his shoulder but his armor took all the impact. We\u2019ll need to order him a replacement part before he can go back out in the field.\r\n\r\nThe segmented design is nice because I don\u2019t have to shell out the cash for a whole new set. Frankly, the station\u2019s coffers have seen better days. The next time a rookie damages their equipment they might be looking at a desk job for a while.\r\n", - "ITEM_SQUIDTURRET_NAME" : "Squid Polyp", - "ITEM_SQUIDTURRET_PICKUP" : "Activating an interactable summons a Squid Turret nearby.", + "ITEM_SQUIDTURRET_NAME" : "Squilliam", + "ITEM_SQUIDTURRET_PICKUP" : "\"I hope the audience brings lots of... IBUPROFEN.\"", "ITEM_SQUIDTURRET_DESC": "Activating an interactable summons a Squid Turret that attacks nearby enemies at 100% (+100% per stack) attack speed. Lasts 30 seconds.", - "ITEM_SQUIDTURRET_LORE" : "\"It\u2019s disgusting.\"\r\n\r\n\"It\u2019s only mildly disturbing. You\u2019re overreacting.\"\r\n\r\n\"Well, when it turns on us, don\u2019t come crying to me.\"\r\n\r\n\"It seems like it wants to only help us, so I\u2019d rather have it close in case that dangerous looking group comes back around.\"\r\n\r\n\"I swear there\u2019s more than one. It\u2019s everywhere I look: the storage locker, the food dispenser, the cargo containers, everywhere!\"\r\n\r\n\"You\u2019re exaggerating, it\u2019s probably just following you. Snap out of it!\"\r\n\r\n\"Ow! Did you just smack me!?\"\r\n\r\n\"You were acting hysterical. I had to… hey, why is that thing looking at me now?\"\r\n", - "ITEM_DEATHMARK_NAME" : "Death Mark", - "ITEM_DEATHMARK_PICKUP" : "Enemies with 4 or more debuffs are marked for death, taking bonus damage.", + "ITEM_DEATHMARK_NAME" : "Plan Z", + "ITEM_DEATHMARK_PICKUP" : "\"It's lemon-scented!\"", "ITEM_DEATHMARK_DESC" : "Enemies with 4 or more debuffs are marked for death, increasing damage taken by 50% from all sources for 7 (+7 per stack) seconds.", - "ITEM_DEATHMARK_LORE" : "Order: \u201CDeath Mark\u201D\r\nTracking Number: 66******\r\nEstimated Delivery: 02\\22\\2056\\\r\nShipping Method: High Priority\r\nShipping Address: 421 Lane, Lab [72], Mars\r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nEveryone said that I was crazy to search for lost artifacts on Mars. Idiots. There hasn\u2019t been any proof of a previous civilization - but I\u2019ve always trusted my gut. This skull proves that I\u2019m right - that something did exist here before.\r\n\r\nThat smug professor at the university... always disparaging my research. I loved seeing the look on his face as I shook his hand. Idiot. Karma must have been working overtime - I heard he fell ill shortly after. I suppose my success was just too much for him.\r\n\r\n...In fact, everyone I\u2019ve shown seems to not be returning my calls. Are they avoiding me? Are they scared this news would shake up their academic communities? Too proud to admit I\u2019m right?\r\n\r\nI\u2019ll find someone who will give me the recognition I deserve. I\u2019ve worked too hard and done too much. If I don\u2019t keep going, I think I might just die.\r\n", - "ITEM_INTERSTELLARDESKPLANT_NAME" : "Interstellar Desk Plant", - "ITEM_INTERSTELLARDESKPLANT_PICKUP" : "Plant a healing fruit on kill.", + "ITEM_INTERSTELLARDESKPLANT_NAME" : "Tumbleweed", + "ITEM_INTERSTELLARDESKPLANT_PICKUP" : "Tumbleweed infestation is a serious problem", "ITEM_INTERSTELLARDESKPLANT_DESC" : "On kill, plant a healing fruit seed that grows into a plant after 5 seconds. \n\nThe plant heals for 10% of maximum health every second to all allies within 5m (+5.0m per stack). Lasts 10 seconds.", - "ITEM_INTERSTELLARDESKPLANT_LORE" : "Order: \"Interstellar Plant Seed\"\r\nTracking Number: 44******\r\nEstimated Delivery: 08\/27\/2056\r\nShipping Method: Standard\/Biological\r\nShipping Address: Giardina Dealership, Naples, Earth\r\nShipping Details:\r\n\r\nHello - yes, I\u2019d like one of those space plant seeds for the office. I think it would look so nice in here; it'd really brighten up the room, and it could really use it. Al at the Denver branch says he got one, and it's really made a difference. His sales are OFF the charts, and he's contributing all his success to this magic plant!\r\n\r\nI've also heard that it sorta gives off a glow that has medical benefits. That would be great for the pain I've been having in my ankle after that run. Might even help the attitude of some of my customers.\r\n", - "ITEM_ANCESTRALINCUBATOR_NAME" : "Ancestral Incubator", - "ITEM_ANCESTRALINCUBATOR_PICKUP" : "Chance on kill to summon an Ancestral Pod.", - "ITEM_ANCESTRALINCUBATOR_DESC" : "7% chance (+1% per stack) on kill to summon an Ancestral Pod that distracts enemies. \n\nOnce it fully grows, it will hatch into an allied Parent with 100% health (+100% per stack).", - "ITEM_ANCESTRALINCUBATOR_LORE" : "\"How do they know who their leader is? Is it instinct? Or is there something about me?\"\r\n\r\n\"I can't believe you're having me cover for you, Ashley. You know the rules. The last time someone brought something 'friendly' to the camp it did NOT end well. Rich cried for days.\"\r\n\r\n\"But if we figure out how to communicate we can use it to our benefit! Besides, the guy is pretty helpful around here. He can lift heavy boxes and reach high places.\"\r\n\r\n\"I think we should just put that thing back where you found it. Who knows if it will attract more?\"\r\n\r\n\"This is for science...! And besides, maybe it can teach us something about this environment. He's a native here.\"\r\n\r\n\"Yeah, cool, native, okay, I'm out.\"\r\n", - - "ITEM_FOCUSEDCONVERGENCE_NAME" : "Focused Convergence", - "ITEM_FOCUSEDCONVERGENCE_PICKUP" : "Increase the speed of Teleporter charging... BUT reduce the size of the zone.", + "ITEM_FOCUSEDCONVERGENCE_NAME" : "Speedrun Strats", + "ITEM_FOCUSEDCONVERGENCE_PICKUP" : "Except now the Engineer is going to lose the hold he had on the tele", "ITEM_FOCUSEDCONVERGENCE_DESC" : "Teleporters charge 30% (+30% per stack) faster, but the size of the Teleporter zone is 50% (-50% per stack) smaller. ", - "ITEM_FOCUSEDCONVERGENCE_LORE" : "Gravity concentrating... falling inward, condensing, hardening.\r\n\r\nA singularity shrinks to the point your mind inverts, reversing reality. Now return. \r\n\r\nDon\u2019t the matters of the physical world seem trivial now? Your tasks in this realm are simple and hastened, all in an attempt to get reversed. How many times can you make this trip before you are claimed by its process? \n\nDo not let it take you. Take it instead. Here.\r\n", - "ITEM_FIREBALLSONHIT_NAME" : "Molten Perforator", - "ITEM_FIREBALLSONHIT_PICKUP" : "Chance on hit to fire magma balls.", + "ITEM_FIREBALLSONHIT_NAME" : "Wisdom Tooth", + "ITEM_FIREBALLSONHIT_PICKUP" : "\"Oh tooth, what is your wisdom?\"\r\n\"WHARAGLEBARGLEHHH\"", "ITEM_FIREBALLSONHIT_DESC" : "10% chance on hit to call forth 3 magma balls from an enemy, dealing 300% (+300% per stack) damage each.", - "ITEM_FIREBALLSONHIT_LORE" : "Lab Dissection Analysis File\r\n\r\nSubject: Molten Perforator\r\nTechnician: Dema \"Dembones\" Brown\r\nTable Spec: Heatsink UB-2\r\nNotes:\r\n\r\n> Using UB-2 due to temperatures above safe levels.\r\n> Removing molten enamel and placing aside for substance analysis. It\u2019s solid, yet swimming.\r\n> Upon structural investigation, found cavities and internal chambers\r\n> Reduce lab temperatures by 10 degrees\r\n> Heat generating veins present - fire is being supplied to the tooth?\r\n> Removed my lab coat, very hot\r\n> Heat generation is still occurring in the severed object\r\n> Put some more ice in my drink WOW its hot\r\n> Timestamping for break\r\n", - "ITEM_BLEEDONHITANDEXPLODE_NAME" : "Shatterspleen", - "ITEM_BLEEDONHITANDEXPLODE_PICKUP" : "Critical strikes always bleed enemies. Bleeding enemies now explode.", + "ITEM_BLEEDONHITANDEXPLODE_NAME" : "Exploding Hearts", + "ITEM_BLEEDONHITANDEXPLODE_PICKUP" : "He's just a man name Mike.", "ITEM_BLEEDONHITANDEXPLODE_DESC" : "Critical Strikes bleed enemies for 240% base damage. Bleeding enemies explode on death for 400% (+400% per stack) damage, plus an additional 15% (+15% per stack) of their maximum health.", - "ITEM_BLEEDONHITANDEXPLODE_LORE" : "Lab Dissection Analysis File\r\n\r\nSubject: Shatterspleen\r\nTechnician: Professor Mehri Daimera\r\nTable Spec: Spillproof BDC-3\r\nNotes:\r\n\r\n> This will be my third attempt at a dissection of an Imp organ\r\n> First attempt resulted in rupture\r\n> Second attempt resulted in rupture\r\n> Cutting into the outer layer produces copious amounts of fluid discharge\r\n> As the fluid flows, the rest of the organ, inexplicably, swells\r\n> Swelling will ultimately result in violent rupture\r\n> Made use of the stemming tools on the BDC-3 to successfully proceed without incident\r\n> Surprised to find sharp needle point objects (bones?) inside\r\n> Timestamping for break\r\n> Came back to leave some final notes\r\n> Third attempt aborted after I injured my hand\r\n> Eventually was able to stop my own bleeding. The organ seems to contain immense anticoagulant properties.\r\n", - "ITEM_SIPHONONLOWHEALTH_NAME" : "Mired Urn", - "ITEM_SIPHONONLOWHEALTH_PICKUP" : "Siphon health from nearby characters while in combat.", + "ITEM_SIPHONONLOWHEALTH_NAME" : "Bootleg Razorwire", + "ITEM_SIPHONONLOWHEALTH_PICKUP" : "Pairs really well with normal razorwire.", "ITEM_SIPHONONLOWHEALTH_DESC" : "While in combat, the nearest 1(+1 per stack) characters to you within 13m will be 'tethered' to you, dealing 100% damage per second, applying tar, and healing you for 100% of the damage dealt.", - "ITEM_SIPHONONLOWHEALTH_LORE" : "Lab Dissection Analysis File\r\nSubject: Mired Urn\r\nTechnician: J. Flint\r\nTable Spec: Full Enclosure AY-2 with ARMM Kit\r\nNotes:\r\n\r\n- The survey team went through a lot of trouble to bring this one back.\r\n- Fitz was the only one left standing, in fact said he felt great, and the rest are still in the recovery ward\r\n- Subject is what appears to be a clay vase\r\n- Could this be part of a camouflaging defense mechanism?\r\n- Inside the vase is a dark gooey substance\r\n- Goo can articulate into functioning appendages\r\n- Intelligence of subject indeterminable at this point\r\n- When operating the ARMM kit, goo attaches to all but one of them\r\n- Instability in the ARMM power system aborts the procedure\r\n", - - "ITEM_MONSTERSONSHRINEUSE_NAME" : "Defiant Gouge", - "ITEM_MONSTERSONSHRINEUSE_PICKUP" : "Using a Shrine summons enemies nearby.", + + "ITEM_MONSTERSONSHRINEUSE_NAME" : "The Communist Revolution", + "ITEM_MONSTERSONSHRINEUSE_PICKUP" : "\"Your shrine? Our shrine.\"", "ITEM_MONSTERSONSHRINEUSE_DESC" : "Using a Shrine summons enemies nearby. Scales over time.", - "ITEM_RANDOMDAMAGEZONE_NAME" : "Mercurial Rachis", - "ITEM_RANDOMDAMAGEZONE_PICKUP" : "Randomly create a Ward of Power. ALL characters deal bonus damage while in the Ward.", + "ITEM_RANDOMDAMAGEZONE_NAME" : "The Poseidome", + "ITEM_RANDOMDAMAGEZONE_PICKUP" : "\"This match is just about over!\"", "ITEM_RANDOMDAMAGEZONE_DESC" : "Creates a Ward of Power in a random location nearby that buffs both enemies and allies within 16m (+50% per stack), causing them to deal +50% damage.", - "ITEM_ARTIFACTKEY_NAME" : "Artifact Key", - "ITEM_ARTIFACTKEY_PICKUP" : "A stone shard with immense power.", + "ITEM_ARTIFACTKEY_NAME" : "Golden Spatula", + "ITEM_ARTIFACTKEY_PICKUP" : "Gain access to the Patty Wagon.", "ITEM_ARTIFACTKEY_DESC" : "A stone shard with immense power.", - "ITEM_CAPTAINDEFENSEMATRIX_NAME" : "Defensive Microbots", - "ITEM_CAPTAINDEFENSEMATRIX_PICKUP" : "Shoot down nearby projectiles. Recharge rate scales with attack speed.", + "ITEM_CAPTAINDEFENSEMATRIX_NAME" : "Denied", + "ITEM_CAPTAINDEFENSEMATRIX_PICKUP" : "And he sayeth to the Lemurian: \"Ehehehehe\"", "ITEM_CAPTAINDEFENSEMATRIX_DESC" : "Shoot down 1 (+1 per stack) projectiles within 20m every 0.5 seconds. Recharge rate scales with attack speed.", - "ITEM_SCRAPWHITE_NAME" : "Item Scrap, White", - "ITEM_SCRAPWHITE_PICKUP" : "Does nothing. Prioritized when used with 3D Printers.", + "ITEM_SCRAPWHITE_NAME" : "White Crap", + "ITEM_SCRAPWHITE_PICKUP" : "Formerly Fireworks.", "ITEM_SCRAPWHITE_DESC" : "Does nothing. Prioritized when used with 3D Printers.", - "ITEM_SCRAPGREEN_NAME" : "Item Scrap, Green", - "ITEM_SCRAPGREEN_PICKUP" : "Does nothing. Prioritized when used with 3D Printers.", + "ITEM_SCRAPGREEN_NAME" : "Green Crap", + "ITEM_SCRAPGREEN_PICKUP" : "Formerly a Chronobauble.", "ITEM_SCRAPGREEN_DESC" : "Does nothing. Prioritized when used with 3D Printers.", - "ITEM_SCRAPRED_NAME" : "Item Scrap, Red", - "ITEM_SCRAPRED_PICKUP" : "Does nothing. Prioritized when used with 3D Printers.", + "ITEM_SCRAPRED_NAME" : "Red Crap", + "ITEM_SCRAPRED_PICKUP" : "Nobody likes you, Timmy.", "ITEM_SCRAPRED_DESC" : "Does nothing. Prioritized when used with 3D Printers.", - "ITEM_SCRAPYELLOW_NAME" : "Item Scrap, Yellow", - "ITEM_SCRAPYELLOW_PICKUP" : "Does nothing. Prioritized when used with 3D Printers.", + "ITEM_SCRAPYELLOW_NAME" : "Yellow Crap", + "ITEM_SCRAPYELLOW_PICKUP" : "Just chucked a fucking Beetle in there, whatever.", "ITEM_SCRAPYELLOW_DESC" : "Does nothing. Prioritized when used with 3D Printers.", - "ITEM_LUNARBADLUCK_NAME" : "Purity", - "ITEM_LUNARBADLUCK_PICKUP" : "Reduce your skill cooldowns by 2 seconds. You are unlucky.", + "ITEM_LUNARBADLUCK_NAME" : "Pinhead", + "ITEM_LUNARBADLUCK_PICKUP" : "\"Which one of you is the REAL Dirty Dan?\"", "ITEM_LUNARBADLUCK_DESC": "All skill cooldowns are reduced by 2 (+1 per stack) seconds. All random effects are rolled +1 (+1 per stack) times for an unfavorable outcome.", - "ITEM_LUNARBADLUCK_LORE" : "It looks like starseed, tanning in dirt.\r\nIt smells like hot stone, and tall grass.\r\nIt tastes like spiced fruit, sweet and hot.\r\nIt feels like solar winds, and solar chimes.\r\nIt sounds like two brothers, chasing glass frogs in the sun.\r\n", } -} \ No newline at end of file +}