diff --git a/.profile b/.profile
index 5662be21..d1ce2d8c 100755
--- a/.profile
+++ b/.profile
@@ -113,6 +113,10 @@ if ! has define; then
 		alias define='mate-dictionary -n --look-up'
 	fi
 fi
+if ! has helpme; then
+	# https://breanneboland.com/blog/2020/02/28/you-can-put-what-in-dns-txt-records-a-blog-post-for-con-west-2020/
+	alias helpme='dig +short txt "$(( RANDOM % 50 )).maybethiscould.work"'
+fi
 if has emerge; then
 	alias e-depclean='sudo emerge -a --depclean'
 	alias e-inst='sudo emerge -a --jobs --tree --quiet-build y'