From 2ad7bfc4f2c127f0fe5cd71ef23395dafa1e6167 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: Salt <rehashedsalt@cock.li>
Date: Tue, 19 Jan 2021 21:34:18 -0600
Subject: [PATCH] Make subtitle static

---
 src/common-header.php   |   2 +-
 src/common-subtitle.php | 190 ----------------------------------------
 2 files changed, 1 insertion(+), 191 deletions(-)
 delete mode 100644 src/common-subtitle.php

diff --git a/src/common-header.php b/src/common-header.php
index 9227e52..c399e1f 100644
--- a/src/common-header.php
+++ b/src/common-header.php
@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 <div class="header">
 	<img src="/images/logo.png" alt="desu.ltd logo" style="background-color:#ffefe3;"/>
-	<p class="nomobile"><?php include $_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'].'/src/common-subtitle.php';?></p>
+	<p>です</p>
 	<nav>
 		<ul>
 			<li><a href="/">index</a></li>
diff --git a/src/common-subtitle.php b/src/common-subtitle.php
deleted file mode 100644
index 3474eb8..0000000
--- a/src/common-subtitle.php
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,190 +0,0 @@
-<?php
-	$subtitles = array(
-		// Press F to pay respects
-		"For those afflicted",
-		"We don't fuck dragons",
-		"Golf puns are pretty shitty",
-		// F
-		"cowfee",
-		"gween tea",
-		"Try it on mobile",
-		"Please don't try it on mobile",
-		// The joke is I'm not on Facebook and never have
-		// har har
-		"Find me on Facebook",
-		"I wanna be the guy",
-		"I <3 cockmail",
-		"Five is right out",
-		"Lorem ipsum suck my dick",
-		"foo",
-		"Test subtitle please ignore",
-		"Hit me up on fedi",
-		"suya..",
-		"Pour one out for welovela.in",
-		"We all love Lain",
-		"玲音",
-		"レイン",
-		"ＬＡＩＮ",
-		"I'll play Risk of Rain 2 any day",
-		"Feelin' pretty fresh workin' nights",
-		"Leopard geckos are cute",
-		"Finally, a good fucking subtitle",
-		"Will shitpost for attention",
-		"Will shitpost for literally nothing",
-		"Will write HTML for attention",
-		"Maybe one day",
-		"Test bed for chaos",
-		"Botania best mod. Fight me.",
-		"KingLemming is awesome",
-		"asie knows what he's talking about",
-		"Redigit is an amazing studio",
-		"Great Barrier Reef",
-		"This match is just about over",
-		"Better change tactics",
-		"honk.wmv",
-		"bomk",
-		"guys literally only want one thing",
-		"Dame da ne~!",
-		"You can't look up with your tongue out",
-		"ばかみたい",
-		"Smug animu",
-		"wan",
-		"Touch fluffy tail",
-		"Hard to find",
-		"Tiny Little Adiantum",
-		"Night of Nights",
-		"Marisa stole the precious thing",
-		"Clown best tofu",
-		"It's gonna be alright",
-		"P.E.T.R.O.L. is a great song",
-		"Rest in RIP, WipEout",
-		"Get out of my face",
-		"You are smart",
-		"You aren't smart",
-		"Firefox takes 8MB to render this page",
-		"I think this site was worth the effort",
-		"This site was not worth the effort",
-		"At some point I'm gonna redo the CSS here",
-		"I've already redone the CSS like 5 times",
-		"Discord's pinning a core right now",
-		"Slack's pinning a core right now",
-		"gcc's pinning all of my cores right now",
-		"Steam's choking my link right now",
-		"Larry Ellison needs a new goddamn boat",
-		"Like tears in rain",
-		"Like a lizard",
-		"Shave and a haircut",
-		"Lain in a bear suit",
-		"Let's get this out onto a tray. Nice. Mmkay.",
-		"This space intentionally left blank",
-		"Banned in Australia",
-		"Banned in Australia(?)",
-		"I want a PSP again",
-		"Anybody remember Dark Alex?",
-		"5.00-M33",
-		"0xDEADBEEF",
-		"0xBEEFBEEF",
-		"0xBEEEEEEF",
-		"0xBEF",
-		"My Switch runs Linux",
-		"StackOverflow is the best",
-		"StackOverflow is the worst",
-		"Don't go overboard",
-		"God I hate reddit",
-		"Bert",
-		"ディスコード", // Discordo, case you were wondering
-		"disukodo",
-		"\"it says discordo\"",
-		"\"Nice.\"",
-		// - Me, all the fucking time
-		"\"Is that THE Simon Belmont Castlevania?\"",
-		// - Me, irritating Sam
-		"\"I suck a lot of dick, get over here\"",
-		// - Brett
-		"\"This was worth sucking dick\"",
-		// - Brett
-		"laddr",
-		// - Brett
-		"\"100% of people that get killed die\"",
-		// - Brett
-		"\"Sir, this is an M32 grenade launcher\"",
-		// - Jacob https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJRkFLFnv3c
-		"\"OHNO!\"",
-		// - Jacob
-		"\"Much edge\"",
-		// - Jacob
-		"\"I'm in danger!\"",
-		// - At least four of us, constantly shittalking
-		"\"He got cancer and became a Nazi\"",
-		// - Carson
-		"\"I died twice, but I only died once\"",
-		// - Carson
-		"\"Sir, this is a 7-11\"",
-		// - Carson
-		"\"Jumanji\"",
-		// - Carson?
-		"\"Who's Adobe?\"",
-		// - Carson
-		"\"Weird hour-having fucks\"",
-		// - Carson
-		"\"Leonidas is a disease\"",
-		// - Syd
-		"\"Calories don't have vegetables\"",
-		// - Syd
-		"\"Cancer is basically a kid\"",
-		// - Syd
-		"\"I'm gonna fart. I'm gonna-\"",
-		// - Tex of BPL, just before he farts medical into the next universe
-		"\"Double-bitched out of love~\"",
-		// - vampqu33n
-		"\"Fixing PHP is like coming home\"",
-		// - JE
-		"\"Now the Nazi party thinks I'm their little pogchamp\"",
-		// - Jacob, after I said he's my little pogchamp
-		"\"They're children you thirsty whores\"",
-		// - Sam
-		"\"Imagine \'Blades of Glory\' but they fuck\"",
-		// - Also Sam
-		"God dammit, Sam",
-		"God dammit, Jacob",
-		"Brett...",
-		"God dammit",
-		"Cancer sucks. 0/10",
-		"Depression's alright. 3/10",
-		"[cat scratching at door]",
-		"[dog barks in the distance]",
-		"[duvet plays in the distance]",
-		"[vocaloid plays in the distance]",
-		"[forge crashes in the distance]",
-		"[ansible noises]",
-		"[powerline noises]",
-		"[cyberpunk jazz noises]",
-		"[satire intensifies]",
-		"[maniacal laughter]",
-		"[laughter, then disappointment]",
-		"I'm a professional, trust me",
-		"Nobody's a professional",
-		"PM_ME_ANSIBLE_ROLES",
-		"PM_ME_SUBTITLE_IDEAS",
-		"PM_ME_BOTANIA_SETUPS",
-		"PM_ME_IM_LONELY",
-		"Not to be confused with plan 9",
-		"Not to be confused with 9front",
-		"The front fell off",
-		"4th edition",
-		"5th edition with author's notes",
-		"Mr. Worldwide edition",
-		"Nobody reads this edition",
-		"Random subtitles edition",
-		"Shenanigans edition",
-		"Using PHP for shitty jokes edition",
-		"No backing database edition",
-		"Motherfucking website edition",
-		"Licensed under MIT edition",
-		"Now SFW edition",
-		"NSFW edition?",
-		"NSFW edition"
-	);
-	$message = $subtitles[array_rand($subtitles, 1)];
-	echo "$message";
-?>